A
female
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anonymous
writes:hi i just wanted some advice my friend of 15 years, we are both in our 20s. the other day she mentioned she had been seeing a counseller (as she has a few problems with her past and depression etc)and that the counseller had told her that she should ask her friends (ie: me) what they dislike about her. which i found a little odd and quite uncomfortable to answer. so i said i didnt really have any dislikes about her, and she said that she envied me, and the one thing she didnt like about me was that i always seem to be happy with my life. i dont know why but it kind of woried me that my friend would dislike me for being happy....is this normal? or am i overreacting?
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (18 January 2008):
 HMMM sounds to me that she wanted to ask you i dont believe a counsellor would ask there patient to find negative things about them selves that just makes the condition worse, being a patient myself its always about the positivty if i had to ask my friends what they dislike about me i wouldnt get out of bed id be to afraid to find out, you should write her a list of everything you like about her and in the negative side you should put "i would love her smile but she doesnt do it often enough" that will cheer her up and reassure her
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): Your friend probably just wishes she could be as happy with her life as you are with yours.
It does sound like an odd thing for a counsellor to say.
It would be better to list the things you do like about her and ask what she likes about you. After all, you are friends for a reason. This would be much more positive.
Positive thinking helps with depression. Get her to find out more about it. Also exercise helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): I don't believe that a counsellor would ever ask what people dislike about her, it should be things they like about her. She has changed the question into the negative because of her self esteem being low, perhaps she does not even realise. Perhaps it is so low that she wants to confirm that she is right not to like herself. Either way, only say what you like and if you have a negative answer it could be that she puts herself down when she deserves better.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (18 January 2008):
 "I dont know why but it kind of woried me that my friend would dislike me for being happy"
She says she ENVIES you, perhaps even jealous of you, rather than dislikes YOU for always seeming to be happy with your life. In your own words:
"She said that she ENVIED me, and the one thing she didnt like ABOUT me was that i always seem to be happy with my life"
Again...
"the one thing she didnt like ABOUT me"
Not that she doesn't like YOU. She's envious of your happiness.
Ok, maybe this isn't "normal" but considering "she has a few problems with her past and depression etc" it plain to see she isn't happy with her own life at the moment and wants nothing more than to be happy like you. That's all.
She is making an effort to conquer her "issues" by seeing a counsellor and following through what he/she recommends so don't hold it against her. She's just being totally honest with you. Personally, I admire anyone who actually does something about their issues. Fair play to her for taking "the bull by the horns" and putting the effort in to do something about it.
From your point of view I'd say; don't take it to heart and just be mindful of the fact she's having a rough time and wants nothing more to have a life like yours where she is happy.
The fact you've been friends for 15 odd years says to me she does LIKE you, but at the moment is ENVIOUS of your happiness with your life.
Stick by her as a friend and try not to read too much into it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
This is quite normal for a counsellor to ask her to do, And the reason behind it is so she can get her self esteem back and her confidence, There was a lesson in the group therapy meetings that everyone had a peice of paper stuck to there backs and they all had to write on each others backs what they found good about another person in the group, Nobody new who had written what and when the lesson was over they all read what had been written and found out things about themselves they didnt even no, Like how kind a person thought you were or how caring and so on, The counsellor is asking your friend so she feels better about herself. She is depressed at the moment and I wouldnt take it personally that is why she envied your happiness and your life as she just wants that back in hers love, I hope this helps a little TAKE CARE WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): well no its not normal you have to remember that she is in counseler for being depresed that is probaly the only reason
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