A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I broke up a little over four months ago after a two-year relationship. The reasons we broke up are because he not only cheated on me but he physically and emotionally abused me on a near daily basis. Obviously wasn't having it anymore.Well anyway, the first couple of months after the break-up weren't the greatest but I got through it. I'm at the last leg of the break-up/getting over him process and I have never felt so great in my life! I'm nineteen, single, and enjoying every bloody second of it!I'm finally getting things done that I didn't think would ever get accomplished, I've got a new job that doesn't make me dread every step I take going into the building (even during a recession), and I'm starting to get out more often and have some fun for once!I actually feel and am starting to look my age. I'm spending my money on MYSELF rather than a guy who never gave a crap; I'm also saving what I need to save. I recently got my first car, I'm focusing a lot more in school, and I'm doing my own thing.My appetite has also become healthier and my menstrual cycle is now on time with my stress levels being at at an all-time low. I'm a writer and take pride in being one of the cooks in the family and my writing skills have dramatically improved and apparently so have my cooking skills. -- According to my family.I'm also a neat-freak but while with my ex, I just didn't feel like doing anything with my room, the computer room and sometimes didn't even have the motivation to take a shower for days at a time, resulting in some serious body odor and acne that has now left scars on my face. Since then, my face has cleared up and according to a guy friend of mine, I smell like strawberries and vanilla.But now, I just feel so freakin' good! I'm manic-depressant and for the last couple of months, I've been feeling completely manic and for once in over two years, my mom and I are not budding heads and I've rekindled some old friendships.With my ex, I was constantly suicidal and didn't think I was worth wasting any space on this earth. I actually enjoy living now. I know, I know, you get it: I'm enjoying being single and all that, but my questions are:Is this normal? Am I being TOO selfish? Or should I keep up with this awesome, optimistic feeling I haven't felt in a very long time? Answers are appreciated. Thanks. =]
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): How is it selfish to improve yourself and your happiness? I think that's awesome and i'm really happy for you. You get to have some time to only think about yourself. I imagine that what he did to you hurt you in a lot of ways but now you can rebuild yourself. I would stay single for a while longer to try to completely rebuild yourself and get a nice, clear perspective on things so that next time you find a man, you'll whether or not he's someone you should be spending your time with. Somewhere out there, there's got to be someone who can help you keep up this wonderful, happy person you have become, yet make you even happier. Good luck to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): I am the original poster of this question/statement!I'd like to say 'thank you' to all of those who have answered and 'you're welcome' to the poster who talked about her own issues. By the way, to jaime90: It will be very hard the first couple of months, but one day, you will wake up and literally feel light in and around your mind, body, soul, and heart. That's when you know you're over your ex. At least, that's what happened to me not too long ago (about a week ago).I also realize that in a world full of hatred and cruelty, reading something like my post can be a very good thing, indeed. But I'm only one situation out of countless in the world and it's sad to think that there are, in fact, many MANY men out there who do all that crap in the first place. I'm just so glad I got out before it was too late.Anyways, thanks again and I will most definitely take that advice, DCGurl! =]
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A
female
reader, jaime90  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 can i just say thankyou so much! I havent spoken to my boyfriend for a week and were breaking up i know i have to do it because he also is emotionally and on the verge of physically abusive at me all the time.The past week i have been going out with my friends, trying to get my mind off things but for some reason i woke up this morning with brandy - have you ever in my head and it made me so sad.After reading this i feel so much better. I honestly cant wait to be where your at. Good for you, enjoy yourself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): Great to hear someone is really happy out there!!! You are not being selfish at all. You love yourself! Thats not something to be ashamed of. Your post comes as a breath of fresh air!You go girl!!!All the best!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): Sounds like you're smart enough to know: using the same method will yield the same result.How about dating only those who fit the healthy profile you've developed.
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