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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: IS there any good advice from smart wifes?How can I stop being so angry at my husband?He is a good man, but going thru some midlife stuff.He is depressed, has low sex drive,and frustrated most times. But he is a good provider,and good fatherBut I know ,he is a good man, I have no reason to leave this marriage. He is not abusive,or a cheater, what I see ,its quite common mistake in man. But he is driving me crazy, and many times I want to run off, because its been like this for years, and I;m so sad, because I don't want this to end.What can I do,to stay calm? Any ideas?
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female
reader, DarkDee  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 There is a book called the 5 languages of love. I suggest you give it a read. People sometimes loose each other along the way and get their love language tangled. Ask yourself this. Is his love tank full?? Is your love tank full?? In order for you 2 to find each other again you need to find common ground and learn to understand each others needs instead of the wants. The easiest thing for you to do now is give up and leave. Then why did you get married in the first place?? Marrage is a test like all things in life. It might be hard but at the end of the day you come out a better person and you also bring out the best in your partner along the way.You need to evaluate what your husband needs. What did you use to do for him when you first met each other?? The time when all you did was think of him and you couldnt wait to see him again?? You need to return that feeling into your relationship and things will go alot better. He will learn to open up and you will learn to trust your gut and feelings when it comes to your anger.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): I think it very humble to ask what to do about being angry at your husband. My partner is depressed with a low sex drive and incessantly angry. He is always angry. He makes a ton of money and treats my daughter decent. So it's frustrating: a big liquid asset, he's nice to the baby, but I am his target for his anger problem. I am pulled to the side and angrily lectured for every accusation a man can give a woman on a daily basis. It is truly horrible. It's so hard to know I can buy what I want, drive what I want, eat what I want, wear what I want, and yet, I am told every day I am worthless in every language.
So to take the edge off the pain I've cornered the market for my self-image. Even my boss says she knows of no one more self-assured than me. I must live with the attitude that no one's opinion of me matters. I put no weight in any else's opinion of me, or what they think of me. None. The reason it helps is when my man hits me with his criticisms and name calling and insults, I look upon it as completely worthless; it's a choice I made because I had to.
We seem to have a lot in common.
How to stay calm? The first step is alter your perception. Perceive yourself as impenetrable to another's opinion. After that, do what you must.
I don't get your comment: "I don't want this to end" what do you not want to end?
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