A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I think ive fallen in love but im not sure if im truely in love. i know people who've answered other questions have said "if ur in love then u just know" but i thought i was in love with my last boyfriend but then afterwards i realised i wasnt so i want to make sure this time.i cant get my friend out of my head. I think about him constantly 24/7 and am always checking my phone to see if hes text me. Im always thinking of excuses to get into contact we him and we have conversations through text (its easier than talking on the phone as i am at university during the day) for hours during the day (yesterday it was for 9 hours). When i lie in bed all i can think of is that i want him to be next to me and when im at work (we both work part-time in a bar) all i can think of is him and where he is and i am always walking around the bar to see if hes near. Whatever im doing, i think about where he is and what hes doing and if hes happy or thinking of me. Is this love or lust? (actually ive just read this back and i sound a bit obsessive lol). thanks for anyone who can help
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female
reader, cd206 +, writes (14 March 2007):
 I think for it to be love there must be a relationship. I know that probably sounds silly because you already have the relationship of being friends but that's not enough. Being in a relationship builds intimacy and an even stronger connection between you that you can't have as friends. It sounds like you have a strong basis for a relationship but I would think for now your feelings are more infatuation than love.
CD
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (14 March 2007):
 First of all you need to know someone well before you fall in love with them or it's only infatuation. That's what teenage girls usually have with pop stars. You can't possibly fall in love with someone if you don't know them!
If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them, they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.
He/she may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. Whilst you may be loud and forceful they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you.
Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person AND their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!
Eve
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