A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i've just started redating my ex boyfriend again. Things are going okay and I'm happy enough- except for the fact he lives 130 miles away. We've been dating for two months and already the distance is tiring me out. we see each other every weekend and i always go up to see him- he has his own place, i'm with my folks still (who are unsupportive of the relationship) i have to finish work on friday night and travel down and by the time i get back on monday i'm exhausted and emotional and finding it difficult to adjust to it. Is this normal to feel like this? We try hard to see each other and have a close relationship but I feel that our relationship is also under a lot of pressure because of the effort we put in and also the fact that people think it won't work out, due to the fact that we've broke up before and the distance. I trust my partner and have always done and he trusts me, but we have no end in sight- i'm at a good college and i can't move and he has a good job and is saving for a house and told me from the start that he was never going to move back to our small town. Because its early days for us it sometimes makes me wonder if it's all going to be a lot of effort for nothing, and i wonder what will happen, is this feeling normal too?
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female
reader, vsnod +, writes (22 April 2008):
 I'm in a long distance relationship now, we are about a 4 and 1/2 hour drive away from each other and we have been seeing each other on weekends for 2 years. We try to take turns making the drive (but since his parents live near me, he makes the drive more often) Anyway, I think that your boyfriend will need to make the drive to see you every once in a while if things are going to work out in the long run, it can't be all you! Do his parents live near you? Will he come there for holidays every once in a while? Maybe you could try to rent a cheap hotel room half way between the two locations every once in a while. If you can picture yourself with this guy in the long run, I would say it's worth it, but you need to make sure it is an equal effort.
A
female
reader, amanda23 +, writes (21 April 2008):
 Your feelings are very normal indeed.And by the way you talk you guys really love each other.The trust is a big issue in this instance.I'm currently in a long distance relationship also and it is well worth the agony that it presents in the begining.As long as you and him stay on the same track and want the same thing then you will work out.As far as the the physical exhaustion,I think that you may need to keep a weekend for yourself every now and then so you can get some much needed rest to avoid that feeling.Me and my boyfriend talk to each other everyday on the phone and it makes it easier on the relationship to talk everyday too.Well I sure hope that this helps you.I wish you the best of luck.Amanda
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