A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys...well i have a huge problem. I've been with my boyfriend for just over 3 years now and i do love him, but i'm just not sure whether i'm in love with him anymore. Recently, i have started going to a lot of nights out with some of my Brazilian friends, and i'm goin away in May. All my friends are single, and my boyfriend doesn't come along 'cos he doesn't like the music et., so it is like being single again in a way. I have started going to a new club and i have a HUGE crush on a barman there, who i have started texting, as friends. He wants me to go to the cinema with him -and i know he only likes me as a friend, but i don't know what to do, as i don't really know if i do want to be with my boyfriend anymore - but i'm afraid that if we do break up, i will have made a mistake. I will lose alot of friends that i have through him if we do break up. Is this just a phase? Is it just this new lifestyle that is making me feel like this? I really am so confused so any advice - harsh or otherwise would be appreciated!!Thanks- sorry it's so long xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): Hi Hunny
You say you dont want to break up with your fella as you will loose alot of friends that you have met through him, You havent mentioned love hunny...You say you have a HUGE!!!! crush on this barman who has asked you out as friends BEWARE HE KNOWS!!!Of the crush...Your having great fun a the moment your young and even if your not why not enjoy your life sweetheart...But yea! there is always a but eh! Imagine life without your b/f if you feel you have moved on from him and your only staying with him because of the things you have mentioned then you should be honest hunny..If on the other hand you are enjoying you time with your mates and the attention of the barman then this could be a passing phase and you may regret alot...So really think hard hunny, Sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side but I always say its the depth you need to look at hun, How would you feel if your b/f was texting another woman and planning to meet up, Even though he said it was a friendship but he had a HUGE crush on her...If that would piss you off love then I would think before I did anything that I couldnt take back and will hurt someone in the process..I hope my words were not to harsh chick I dont like to hurt peoples feelings...If you need a chit chat message me anytime LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS (:0) MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): I hope you will understand my ramblings below. I may not have gotten my thoughts clear. I think this "phase" can be experienced at any age.
It may mean your maturing and realizing current conditions are not what you want, or, theses feelings are something your afraid of exploring further, and moving away from. If we allow our minds to wander without a reality check, we can start believing in something that isn't true or right for us.
Another example (or hopefully clearer description), is there is something in your life that you feel you fail at or having problems dealing with, when the feelings appear again that resemebles this feeling of failure or the chance of it possibly appearing, you may run from it instead of trying to figure out how to overcome it.
I suggest you review your life and relationships and see if you notice areas you need work in, areas you feel uncomfortable. Once you've put your finger on it, then you can determine what you need to make it better.
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