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Is this just a "man crush"?

Tagged as: Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 June 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2009)
A male , *artyn writes:

Ok im going to try and keep this as short and simple as possible.

I am a 28 year old guy, i am straight but ive been having strange feelings for my male boss. I really cant work out whether its gay feelings that i am feeling for him or if its a "man-crush"!

I really don't understand whats happening because i am attracted to girls but i have this urge to always be near my boss i laugh at every joke he come out with and hate it when some insults or says something bad about him i am always sticking up for him. I really want him to like me.

But then on the other side, i do find myself thinking that he is hot and thinking about what he would look like naked there have been a few times i have accedently had a glance at his crotch which when i catch myself doing it i think what the hell are you doing! I find myself thinking about him all the time and want to find out about his life. i really do think that it might just be a man crush but im very confused please help!

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A male reader, Martyn +, writes (13 June 2009):

Martyn is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi, I really did just think it was a "man Crush" but i guess i need to think about it through properly i do find myself thinking bout my boss all the time but i just thought it was cos i wanted to be like him and thought he was a cool guy. But i am off on hol for a week so maybe that will help me stop thinking bout him

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009):

It's funny that you think a "man crush" is something milder and less offensive and completely different than just coming out and saying that you are attracted to your boss. So, you thought you were straight and oh! guess you are not :)

Don't be confused about anything. Sexuality is fluid and you don't have to put a label on it. It's okay to explore. It sounds to me like you have not at all accepted your feelings. Have you been intolerant of gay men in the past? Do you feel uncomfortable showing a more effeminate and gentle side of yourself? Sometimes, it takes a lot of effort to undo social conditioning and realise what it really is that turns you on.

I wouldn't pursue anything with your boss, because he's your boss and you would be asking for all kinds of trouble, but maybe you can just let yourself develop and don't judge whatever feelings come up. Let your mind wonder and don't be so hard on yourself. If you are gay, or bi, then so be it. Or, if you choose not to label things now, just have fun with all the new things you are finding out about yourself.

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A female reader, ohhellNo United States +, writes (11 June 2009):

this is more than a man crush you might be bi-sexual and never knew it takes that certain person to bring it out of you and your boss is that person...

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A female reader, Smellyellie United Kingdom +, writes (11 June 2009):

Smellyellie agony auntOnly you know how you feel.. If you really like this bloke and having feelings like this then there us a good chance that you are liking him obviously. What I would do is take your mind off of him is go out and indulge yourself in girls if you find after doing this it dosent help your feelings then you really do need to think about your sexuality!!!

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