A
female
age
41-50,
*hataboutme
writes:Im confused......I used to go out with a guy about 7 years ago for about two years. It very quickly became seriuos, i feel pregnant but we decided it was to early to start a family so i had an abortion. We were engaged and all was well until I found out he was cheating on me. I know what you are thinking, what a waste of time, stop thinking about him. Anyway I moved away and he was gonna move with me, but of course moved in with his latest squeeze instead.So we never really saw each other after that. But spoke on the phone and he always said what a misstake it was for us not to be together.Since then I have married. But cant stop thinking about my first love. I have looked him up on the internet... I should be happy in my marriage. Is this a case of wanting what you cant have?What do i do?
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female
reader, whataboutme +, writes (23 March 2007):
whataboutme is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers.
Deep down I know.... It's just so upsetting to see him do well when all i want is for him to feel the way i do.
I just want to cry... Maybe its beacuse i never had closure. I saw someone who looked like him in a shop the other day and it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, i lost my breath and went all weak.
I still cant listen to ceratin songs on the radio without thinking of him. I still have the dog we got together...
I still have so many reminders off him. And knowing that he knows how much he hurt me hurts even more.
Shall I call him and try and get closure? I just want to do the right thing, I just cant see how im even going to get over this if after 6.5 years i still havent...
(I did meet up with him whilst still going out with who is now my husband, 9 months after we broke upi and he promised me the world again...and all i wanted to do was leave my then BF (now hubby) and be with him)(My hubby knew we meet up as he had loads of my stuff, which he threw away...)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): Hello, I dont think you REALLY want to go back to your ex for the same reason you should never go back to a lit firework. Youve been there and done that and it didnt work. Why set yourself up again for a fall?
You should think only about your current relationship and how you feel about your husband. Think good and hard and dont make any rash decisions. You must've felt a lot for him to be married and perhaps the commitment you have made is making you wonder what it would be like to be in a regular no strings relationship again.
Yes, the grass often looks greener on the other side of the fence, but more often than not, it aint!
I would stop looking your ex up on the net because, firstly, your searches might be found by your husband and would likely upset him and also, he treated you badly. He treated you as badly as you can possibly treat someone. DOnt put yourself through that pain again. Put yourself first and be your own person. Dont ever settle for second best.
I wish you the best of luck and if I can help with any further or other advice, drop me a line.
J
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): Forget about your ex. He was a waste of space. Think about it, he cheated on you. He put your relationship at jepody for an affair. He's lost you and he deserved it. Work on your own marriage instead of wasting your time thinking about your cheating ex.
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