A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Ok this is maybe gonna be a long one so here goes! When I was 16 (now 24) I met this guy, hit it off straight away and fell for him. He is 4 years older than me so nothing could really come of it and besides, he had a girlfriend at the time ( I know - alarm bells ringing already!). Anyway, over the course of the next two 1/2 years, we were in touch off and on. If ever we saw each other out, we would kiss (nothing more) and usually end up staying out until stupid o'clock in the morning talking about nothing in particular. I knew that he would never leave his g/f for me, we were two different and the age gap was an issue but it never stopped there being this wave of intensity every time we saw each other.So, it turned out that I decided to go out with someone who was a friend but not a close friend of his (although anytime I was with another guy it was always his idea that I was trying to annoy him coz you know I should wait for him clearly!) Anyway, Me and my new b/f got on great and have been togerther for nearly 6 years. HOWEVER, my current b/f and I have decided that over the last year, things haven't been working for either of us and have decided to split. We are great friends and are continuing to live together until everything is sold etc etc. Now the entire time I was with my boyfriend my feelings for my (sort of) ex never really went away, they just hid. Whenever we see each other we both sort of clam up and can't really look each other eye to eye. We both knew that it was all still there but would never do anything about it obviously.He has since split from his ex and as far as i know has been single for a while. About a month ago I txt him for the 1st time in years because I heard something about him which I won't go into. Anyway we have been in touch for the last month quite a lot and he found out that I had a night out planned and walked into the same bar and major sparks all over again. We kissed, I don't even feel bad about it. I feel like for the 1st time I actually feel passion again. The problem is that he is a player. I've heard about his past relationships and they seem to have been pretty awful (married women etc). I know this is going to sound silly but I feel like I'm in a bit over my head here, its almost too intense. I feel like everything I used to feel has come back and hit me twice as hard and I am SCARED to death of getting hurt by him again. I came to terms with the fact that he never chose me in the past and although age has served me very well I think, I can't help but feel like I'm losing control to someone who isn't reliable. He has said that once things get cleared up with my current relationship then we will try us and he thinks that it will work because we're 'us'.Is this is a good idea or am I going to get my heart broken?
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female
reader, daisylee +, writes (26 September 2008):
ok so he's basically your dawson? well in honesty its a big one. I it were me id ask myself is he worth taking that risk for. Love is such a big and scary and is designed t mess about with our hearts, but love is worth taking that risk for is it not? one day of that happiness is better than a life of 'what if' or 'what would have happened'.
i dont think you will ever know these things untill you explore this. You might not have seen him for a long time bt ure feelings have always been there.
This guy sounds pretty scared, he had a girlfreind sure but he spent time with you, just talking till early hours, and he obviously enoyed that or it wouldnt happen all the time, so much so that he does it even when he had a girlfreind. You know guys, they cant express their feelings or even REALISE there true feelings untill it is forced upon them. He could be the biggest player in the world to every chick he has known, but there not u!
one thing i would say tho is explore it yes 100% because otherwise you will never know. But u cant shut yourself down because your scared, thats just ure hearts way of telling you that the feelings you have are strong. You might get hurt, no one can tell you your definetly not, but trust your judgement and avoid regrets.
good luck x let me know? hope ive helped
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