A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was dating a known player for a short while and he got super serious. He asked me to moved in, insisted I got to know his family (hes 27 and only ever brought 3 girls home), and even said he loved me numerous times (I disagreed with him, tho to give him an out). He was even excited when I was 2 weeks late! One day he told his sister whom hes very close with how much he cares about me, and later that night broke up with me.We were still hooking up every week. And texting regularly (even dating we ONLY texted). I got tired of the game and so I moved hoping it would either kick him into action or he'd show his true colors and drop me.Now we talk more than before- he txts me a least every night when he gets in bed. He insists he is not seeing or doing anyone and always wants to know if I am. He likes to talk dirty a lot and will tell me to have sex with another guy - then retract it later. But USUALLY if I say something such as I miss you, he ignores it or says "No you just miss sex!"I guess what I want to know is if there are feelings there from him or if he is just killing time with me. I really care about him and want to be with him but I dont want to be made into a fool. Is this his way of keeping me attached or is he just bored?
View related questions:
broke up, moved in, player, sex with another, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (10 September 2008):
 If he is a known player, then you and sex/dating is just a game to him.
having you around feeds his ego and makes him feel desirable. if you want something more serious with him, unfortanately you are not going to get it from him.
He is in player mode, meaning he just wants to have fun with girls..many girls if he can.
Don't wait around and let him take control.
You need to take control. As much as it hurts, YOU are going to be the one that needs to end it. Why would he end it? he's trying to keep as many girls as he can? good luck.
It's hard to say if he has feelings for you or using you for sex. But honestly, these guy are are considered "unavailable men" because emotionally they are not in touch with their emotions. Therefore, they will never be in touch with your. Cut him loose ..you deserve better. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2008): No he is a horrible game player who is stringing you along. These types just love only themselves. The only way to win with men like that is withdraw interest immediately, do not text back and do not give out sex, then often you will find they come running. They marry women who were totally unavailable who they had to strive very hard to get and even then often the woman maintains little interest. He obviously likes you and fancies you a lot but only when he feels like it and when he can be bothered. Just be nice and aloof and not too available and see if you can change things around so you are pulling his strings and have control
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 September 2008):
 The texting is a bloody big clue, what is different from texting vs a voice call?
Emotion and time. A voice call happens in real time and the other person can hear your voice, can hear if you are busy.
Texting I can do while I am doing other things.
So why only texting? It might be an age-gap thing, but I would only text a woman I am dating for short messages that don't need communication or when I can't talk to her. For chit-chat it really seems something you only do if you can't be arsed to talk to the girl in real time because you got more intresting things to do.
I think he is playing you, but that is partly simply because I still see texting as a tool for certain tasks, not as a primary means of talking to someone.
...............................
A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (10 September 2008):
 It is difficult to say without knowing him personally but it does seem a bit like gameplaying. He texts you to gauge how you feel then when you "bite" he seems to dismiss it.
Maybe his feelings for you are as real as his is capable of at this point in time but it seems clear he's not ready for a relationship of any real meaning or substance.
...............................
|
