A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a girlfriend and I'm soon to be divorced with my estranged wife. My girlfriend has been acting weird lately.... She gives me ultimatums to do X or we break up. When I don't do X, she gives me the complete silent treatment and ignores all calls and messages etc. I spend a lot of time trying to get her back and eventually after days I do... I basically have to call her office and involve other people to even get her to talk to me. After 4 weeks of this, we made love last-Wednesday. It was my birthday last-Friday and she told me if I don't spend my birthday with her on Friday we are "over".However, I waited for her to call me and txt me. I think she should have contact me to arrange a date and wish me a birthday. Not the other way around.She didn't call me and now gives me the silent treatment again. In addition, my father requested me to spend a week with his family in his country, I had my dad call her and she called me a liar saying that it wasn't him etc. She had never spoken to him before and my dad thinks she is not good for trying to blackmail and control me.Is she playing a game? Is she trying to control or manipulate me?She keeps calling me a liar. She says I'm still with my wife... when I get my wife to record a message stating that she can marry if she wants to.... she accepted that. Then she says, I must have other girlfriends!?! I don't have any other girlfriends. I'm simply trying to get a balance in this relationship where it's not one sided and simply like fighting everyday.Is this relationship doomed?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): This relationship is doomed. She is not interested in balance. She likes drama. She likes that you allow her to create it.
Allow the silent treatment to prolong into estrangement and finally, terminate the relationship due to lack of maturity.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 November 2012):
 Totally doomed. She sounds immature and unstable.
I would make an effort to be with her the next time she gives you the silent treatment.
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (25 November 2012):
 Dude, serously get away from this nutter.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (25 November 2012):
 RUN AWAY!!!
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (25 November 2012):
 Hi
Yes I think you can safely say this relationship is doomed. In fact ANY this girl is in would be a non starter, she sounds awful,immature,controlling and seems to think she can treat you as she wishes,because you always run after her..I would run too if I was you,in the opposite direction.
Tell HER its over,not to bother contacting you,your sick of her games.Then have nothing more to do with her.If she accuses you of having somebody else just agree with her,tell her yea actually you have a queue of them.
Seriously, you deserve alot better.Move on.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (25 November 2012):
Is this relationship doomed?Your GF doesn't act like a grown up, she treats you like you're guilty of everything and your only job is to prove to her your love.Why do you always try to get this woman back in your life when she's so hard to please and doesn't trust you? When she doesn't call you on your birthday and threatens you with abandonment about everything?If you want to get a balance, listen to "self esteem" by The Offspring, decide you're not going to let her toss you around like a toy anymore. Tell her that what she does is hurtful and this is not the way you want a relationship to work. If she doesn't change. then really break up this time and ignore her and never try to get her back.
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