A
male
age
30-35,
*ampHead
writes:I was going to have sex with my girlfriend of only 2 weeks, when I was 14, almost 15. I know this was a stupid thing to do, and I should never have even considered it, but I felt ready. It was my one chance, and I didn't want to muck it up. I was staying in her back garden with her, in a tent (Ha), as I had been to a party with her. She had already made me ejaculate previously in the night, and it was 2 in the morning when I eventually asked her to have sex. We had talked about it previously, and I knew there was a small chance we might be having it, but I was'nt sure.She had said something along the lines of 'Oh, come on then, lets get it over' Which I think may have put me off slightly, it was also very cold and uncomfortable as I had no mattress, if that had anything to do with it?I had condoms, and put one on, but even as she was undressing and I was just putting the condom on, I was loosing my erection. I couldn't keep it up, but we tried anyway. There was no go. I'm coming up 16 now, but still worry about that night, as a few people in my school found out, and spread it, and everyone knows and takes the piss out of me on occasion.This keeps the whole night fresh in my mind, and I would just like to forget about it. I still haven't had sex, but haven't tried since that night as I'm to scared. I'm normally extremely confident, and have no problems with getting girlfriends at all.I need to know if there is any way I can become less nervous in the bedroom? I have no problem with foreplay, and have done lots of stuff, with lots of girls, but I don't want to try having sex again. I can normally maintain an erection easily, but have a mental block when it comes to actual sex. I know I'm not gay, as I want to have straight sex badly, and have done other stuff with girls.Can you help me to sort my head out, and make it easier for me to have sex without getting nervous.I just want to not have the sex block in my head, and to be able to enjoy real sex with future girlfriends.
View related questions:
condom, ejaculate, erection, foreplay Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LampHead +, writes (24 February 2009):
LampHead is verified as being by the original poster of the question I just want to be with my old girlfriend again. I cant see myself loving anyone else now :(.
I can kiss people without loving them, but I would never kiss someone I'm not going out with. Some people can go to clubs and kiss about 30 people. I would feel so dirty doing that. I need to know someone, and be in a relationship first before I kiss them.
In some ways, I think I'm to emotionally mature for my age, I should just be enjoying myself, But I cant.
A
male
reader, LampHead +, writes (24 February 2009):
LampHead is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh, and I had had a WKD at about 9, but that was 5 hours previously.I think I may also be to well behaved to be having under-age sex. I know it sounds funny, but I think ahead about consequences, at school I have never had a detention, and hand in all my coursework on time. Everything I do I think through thoroughly, this might have something to do with my problem. Questions like 'Will I regret this in the future, will I find someone else in the future that I like more' etc etc.
...............................
A
male
reader, LampHead +, writes (24 February 2009):
LampHead is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCheers everyone. I was with a girl for 6 months recently, and I would have been comfortable with having sex with her, but she was a Christian, and did not believe in sex before marriage. Before the 6 month relationship, I always seemed to not like what I found with girls before 2 months was up, and never got to know any of them. I could see myself with the Christian girl for many many years, but she was the year above, and went to a College in a local city after we had been together around 3 months. When she joined college everything crumbled, and it didn't work for us. She was the only girl I have ever loved truly, and 3 months on I'm still upset about our brake-up. Do you think If she was conccentful about having sex, she was the one I should and would have been able to have had sex with? For your first time, do you need true love like that?
...............................
A
female
reader, J-LOVE  +, writes (24 February 2009):
every male have experienced that before,i'm sure. you need not to worry about sex your a child. sex are for adults who love each other.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): this can be normal if you had been drinking in the night at the party when you do have an erection it cant stay hard when alchahol has been consumed. If you feel like you are ready know then i think the advice would be do it when you havent been drinking im sory i cant help any more but i hope it helps anyway good luck!! xxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (24 February 2009):
 Next time, try with a girl who you have been with long enough to know if she will be supportive and understanding of you. Also, nothing beats a soft platform and warm temperatures for setting even the most basic of 'moods'.I think all that happened was she was rude, you were nervous, and you were physically uncomfortable. Try with someone nice, who you have gotten to know, and in a bed in doors. I think the results will be much more to your liking :)
...............................
A
male
reader, Tewebag +, writes (24 February 2009):
it has nothing to do with you being gay or not. it probley had a lot more to do with the fact that it was your first time which everyone is neveros for that one time. your penis not staying hard was a way of your mind telling you that you were not ready yet. you just need to keep your mind off losing your erection and just focus on the girl. same thing happened to me my first attempt. good luck
...............................
|
