A
female
age
41-50,
*azeena
writes:I'm a muslim, and my boyfriend or ex is Catholic. Anywhere we go or anyone he hangs out with he says I hate "paki's"..all indian's he calls paki's. I have indian in my blood when I tell him that he goes but your Guyanese so that doesn't matter. Every single time that he said "i hate those people." to his friends..they always look at me and ask me where are you from? he respond by saying she is NOT one of them. Finally one day at his house I told him that my a forefathers are from Indian, that during religious function I wear their cloths, that I watch their movies and I somewhat understand the language. He got mad and told me to leave his place. After that he started texting me called me a paki and told me to marry one and die with them. He said that he can't believe that he touched that he feels like vomitting. I love this guy with my whole heart, but he makes me feel like I am nothing. All he does is smoke weed and drink everyday. When he gets drunk he calls me name and a paki lover. He says "know wonder you stand up for them, you people are all cut from the same cloth." Next day he tells me that he loves me...I finally snapped at him and called him a racist...he goes no I am not,and I would never be with a terrorist...that hurts. He tells me it is just words nothing else. Now he wants to marry me.
View related questions:
drunk, muslim, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, nazeena +, writes (28 March 2011):
nazeena is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEvertyone of you are correct. You what really touches me, is that it feels that you all know him. Each and everyone of you described him to the Tee...He said that our kids will learn to respect both religion...Then he said "I don't want to be one of you. Everyone is right about you people." after that he tells me that if I ever get pregnant he wants a DNA test. Yes I my forefather's are from Indian but I am a born Guyanese, he is Italian but born in Argentina. From the beginning I told him I am Muslim and I don't want conflict over this. He said "you believe in God, once you do I am ok." I know more about his religion and he knows about it. I've been told by family if I don't becarful he will hurt me. He has indian friends and he tells then he hate (such people)..and he wants me to take his side. That's not me and I am brought to respect everyone. I've never once said anything bad towards him regarding religion or family. I feel in love young and I got stuck. I was 16 then...this has been a 11 years relationship, with a lot of tears and sadness, plus we are 11 years apart in age. The most hurtful thing is hearing him say "you people are all cut from the same cloth".Thank you all for your advise. Reading your message and typing this made me realized I am lucky to be away from him. I feel depress because of him, but you all have opened my eyes. Thank you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): Wow....
Consider yourself lucky he dumped you. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but he sounds like a douche and you're lucky to be rid of him.
He clearly harbors hatred for a whole ethnicity of people so, yes, that would make him racist to me.
Is the hate directed towards you or a race? You want to know if his hatred is personal or impersonal? Does it really matter if he abuses you and suggests you're not a valid person to him anyway?
To me it seems he defines himself in contrast to other people. A lot of racists do this. For instance, if he is insecure for whatever reason, he may look down at people from other races to aggrandize himself. He might call a different sort of person savage or "unclean" to make himself feel civilized or clean.
Is this hatred personal? Not really. When he found out is that you have indian ancestory and then you became a stranger to him and he insulted you as a stanger, not as his girlfriend...
He clearly has internal problems and a surplus of hatred that he's taking out on you. He sounds disturbed and potentially abusive.
And he wants to marry you? WTF?!
You don't have to be the one to help him get over his issues. I would stay as far away from him as possible and block him number from your phone. He sounds unstable.
...............................
A
female
reader, Stroberi  +, writes (28 March 2011):
 I don't think you should see this guy anymore. He has issues and I would consider him a racist.Would you want a husband who does nothing but smoke weed and drink everyday? If you say no, then I think you should stop seeing him. I am sorry to say that nothing good and positive will come out of this relationship since he stereotypes and cannot accept your heritage.
...............................
|
