A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear all,I'm 28 years old female and I was wondering what the motives are from a guy I just met.He works for another office right next to mine so I saw him very frequently on the bus when I was on my way to work but we have never spoken to each other. Until I added him on Facebook one day out of boredom. So we texted a bit back and forth, I told him that I was planning to move to another country to try and find a job. He finally asked my number and we went out.Our first date went really well even though I was 2 hours late. After our first date he told me that he would like to meet me again. So we met, and he seems so want to see me more often.The next two week we basically saw each other every day. One day, I was waiting for the taxi I've ordered together with him and that's when he told me that he really liked me. He asked me to give me a goodbye kiss the moment the taxi arrived. I found that very bad timing and did not kiss him.I called him and told him that I liked him as well, but I was planning to move to another country! He said he was confused of what to do, he knew I was moving soon but he had feelings for me.We met again, I met his sister and stayed over at his house a couple of times. That's when we first kissed. We only kiss and hold hands now. Whenever I stayed at his house we just watch a movie, hug and sleep and he gives me massages. He never touched me inappropriately. He tells me that he is so in love with me. But I find it hard to believe as I don't know him for a long time. But we did talk a lot and he knows a lot about me and I of him. We went out for drink, his colleague joined us. He holds my hand in public and even in front of his colleague, who seems to know all about me?He can predict my reactions now, which I think is quite impressive. Another thing, I know it's bad but I peeked on his cellphone and found some messages from him to his friends. All of his friends keeps asking him if he had sex with me yet and if he has hit first base!? I found him talking a bit disrespectful as if I'm some whore. He told his friend that he was tired one day and would not even bang me, thats how tired he is. The word bang is just disgusting. But when I'm with him he seems so different and does treat me with respect? I told him that if he wants sex he should say so and we can be friends with benefits whatever. But he got mad.So I confronted him and he got upset, he apologized and explained that guys just talk like that and he is adapting to this behavior? Now I pretended to buy it. But finally I told him that I will move to another country and try find a job. If I return we will see what will happen. If not, it was not meant to be. He seems to be positive that I will return somehow? Maybe he can tell that I am in love with him.He still calls me everyday and tells me that he misses me and stuff. But even though we talked a lot and had deep conversations, I only know him for 3 weeks! One of his friends is also my friend, told me that he is a good guy. But I still doubt him because of the text messages I found on his cellphone. I am 1 year older than him. He looks very hot, great kisser, know exactly what to say to a girl. I'm afraid that he is playing me. I don't think he will try to have sex with me or anything after our little argument. I am very much in love with him and I would like to know if he's worth returning/staying for.ANY advice would help a lot! Thank you very much for reading until the end!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2013): Guys DO talk like that, no matter how in love with you he is. It's perfectly normal. If he had said to his friend, "hi buddy, I tried to make love to her after I caressed her tenderly and gave her eskimo kisses but she turned me down," he would be the laughing stock of all his friends and never hear the end of it. And the reason he responded that he didnt have sex with you because he was "tired" was just an excuse he gave so his friends wouldnt think hes a complete loser. Thats how guys are, period. And its obvious the guy really digs you and probably is in love with you. Guys fall inlove much faster than girls do. Stop being suspicious and looking through his phone cause he's going to get turned off by you. I mean you think its weird hes in love with you after only three weeks (which is not weird at all) but what IS weird is that you're snooping through his phone, much less after just three weeks of knowing him. Thats not cool. Other than that you seem to be doing everything right and you've made quite an impression on him. Don't let your insecurity ruin a good thing. If you love him, go for it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2013): Let me tell you honey this man is playing you. I have a great relationship with my boyfriend and he gives me his face book and I phone passwords to review any time I wish. The one time his friends asked if my boyfriend was letting me have it? His response was piss off and get a girlfriend a real girlfriend and find out. He is strongly protective of me and when and if his friends drive buy in the cars and starts hooting and hollering he gives them the finger and tells them to piss off again. They may not mean anything but it feels good that my man will protect me. This asshole should never ever allow this kind of talk about you. You are no tramp and don't deserve any such treatment. Tell him to f off and you get a good decent man. This a hole is as phoney as a man can be. What a jerk..
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