A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There is this older guy (late 30s) who appears to be interested in meSince the beginning of the semester, he has been eyeing me for awhile. And just recently, he has kinda befriended me in a way. Whenever we are having a discussion, it appears that he never listens to anything I say. He always dismisses any idea or opinion of mine as having no credibility. And usually he does ALL the talking. He talks and talks and talks and doesn't even give me much opportunity to intervene. Sometimes when I tell him I have to be to class, he will talk even more and follow me. I usually end up missing class because of him. This has happened twice. I think he does this on purpose because when I try to end the conversation he puts in even more work to continue the discussion. Another thing is that while he is talking to me he obviously starts to eye other women who happen to walk by. He has a particular type that he likes to look at which is the complete opposite of me...lightskin Black women. (I am a darkskin black woman). I find it very rude and uncomfortable. And he kinda brings out insecurities that I faced growing up over my dark complexion. There is a fairskin Black lady who is a Spanish teacher on campus that he is always checking out whenever she walks past. Today, while he was checking her out, he said to me "wouldn't it be great to learn spanish?" and I acted very naive as if I didn't notice him looking at her and replied, "yes I always wanted to learn a new language. it would be nice to be bilingual". I just don't understand that if I am not his type (which I assume) why is he wasting my time talking to me? And then I wonder what his motives truly are. He was telling me about a situation with a girl that he paid for sex. And I told him that I would never disrespect my body like that, and it's a shame young women are doing this. He in a way justifies it by saying "prostitution is the oldest profession. and if you are working a mininum wage job and you have to make ends meet you'd do what you have to do." Of course, when I disagreed he knocked everything I said..and even made a suspicious comment like, "see if i told you what to say to these men out here, you would make a lot of money." I am wondering if he is some kind of pimp or recruiter for an escort service on the side. He even said that I am a naive person and the type to get taken advantage of by a guy..which I disagree. I just need everyone's opinion on this situation. I don't have many friends and often I am by myself. Therefore, when it comes to dating and situations like this I have no one to turn to..what do you all feel about this guy?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am doing something else when he is around...he usually spots me on campus, then approaches me and starts a conversation. Also we are classmates so usually we talk about things that are important related to class and it spirals into my different discussions.
When I do have the opportunity to cut the conversation short, he asks where I am going and follows me to the next destination..at times I feel like he can be a bit smothering.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 Hi,
I don't think he is trying to recruit you ( though you never know these days)
I just think he is a jerk - pure and simple. Why bother with him, you have pretty much stated what a jerk he is already and you arent in a relationship. So why not use your time more constructively , do something ( anything! ) else when he is around.
Your wasting your time, guys who love the sound of their own voice will only bring you into their self centred little universe and drag you down.
If you have few friends, join a club that meets in the evening, or take a class. When I was younger that was the way I always got to know people when I moved around.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): I would say that he is just looking for someone to talk to because it sounds to me like he is a jerk who has no friends. My boyfriend on the other hand agrees that he wants you to be his prostitute. I would say either way, don't bother with him because to me it seems like whichever way it turns out, you don't need him if he makes you uncomfortable and is disrespectful.
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