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Reunited with an old friend in facebook, but he doesn't want me to call him, what gives?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 April 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 17 April 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

A couple of weeks back I started playing with Facebook and finding people I met in my past, when I was still a student. I actually decided to send friend requests to some of these people, including a man I had at that time a crush on, but who didn't seem to be very interested in me at that time (I was even not that sure he would in fact remember me 10 years later).

He surprisingly responded very quickly, perfectly knowing who I was, and the first thing he mentioned was how great and happy I looked on my profile photos, and how successful I seemingly had become, while he had kept in mind the image of someone who was unhappy at the university we were both attending.

Following this, we engaged a long exchange of e-mails, sending each other messages everyday or so.

He very quickly told me about his own relationship situation (he was recently separated with a child), and mentionned at several occasions that it was such a shame that he didn't speak to me on a more personal level 10 years before, but that it was because he was not able to have normal conversations with attractive women back then.

He even invited me to come, visit him and stay at his house.

At some point I suggested that we could maybe have a phone conversation instead of exchanging those long e-mails. Since then he doesn't answer my e-mails anymore.

I am just wondering what went wrong.

View related questions: crush, engaged, facebook, university

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

To answer one of the questions, I did not ask for his home number but his Messenger Id.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

In fact he did get back to me in the mean time, but his message was very weird. He said that he was so sorry for not having answered earlier but he has been busy and that he is no big fan of telephone calls but wants to keep on exchanging e-mails with me.

Whatever. I guess he is very shallow. How can you invite someone at your house but not want to chat on the phone with this person?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you so much for all your answers, it is very helpful!!!!

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (16 April 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

Was it his home number you asked for?

I always advise when someone is concerned about a new partner to ask them for their home phone number.

This is the easiest way to find out if he has someone waiting for him at home - like a wife.

I would put my money on that he has a wife waiting for him, why else would he not want you to call his house?

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A female reader, lorac33 United States +, writes (16 April 2008):

He's either in a relationship, or he's just not that interested in you. Move on, set him free there are more fish in the sea, Baby! You deserve BETTER!!

Carol

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008):

There is really no answer to this question, he just seems to have disappeared for awhile, maybe he is under stress, some people do that when they are going through a tough time.

One clue is that he is recently separated with a child...he is going through alot emotionally. In fact I wouldn't recommend getting involved with him right now. He is not yet divorced, he may be trying to salvage his marriage or he is fighting with his soon to be wife over everything not to mention the child.

He has alot to recover from, I would give him his space and if he contacts you again, try to start out as just a friend with not expectation of anything more....He isn't ready. He needs to grieve this loss in his life, even if it was his idea....give him lots of time....or look elsewhere for romance and relationship.

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