A
male
age
30-35,
*teel stake
writes:Ok... So ive been dating this girl for 2 months now and im glad she's my girlfriend but lately we've been having some problems and i dont know what to do and i dont want to lose her unless its absolutely nessecary to do. Everytime i tell her that i wont be able to talk to her for any reason she just acts like its ok and that it has no effect on her at all. We hardly text at all because she sais she does not want our relationship to get boring. She has had lots of boyfriends before me but according to all of her friends she likes me the most and sais that shes going serious with me with is shocking. She has been very distant lately which has gotten me mad and i have broken up with her for it and she just cries for hours and finally i get back together with her and in a couple of weeks it happens again. This is a big problem with her she has always been distant in days in a row then after a week she'll act like as if everything is ok. She just act likes i dont really matter to her. Recently at our friends birthday party we both went but i was going to ditch and she convinced me to go by saying how much she wanted to spend time with me and such so i went. At the party however she ignored me to talk to her friends and wouldnt like me to hug her or anything so i got mad at this the next day and stopped talking to her and she texted me saying all apologies and such and now we have hardly texted for four days during our winter break. All her friends tell me that i deserve better and to break up with her and that i treat her to good because i bought her a hundred dollar bear for christmas and ive bought her a sweater and never make her pay for anything so i am clueless on what im doing wrong. PLZ I NEED HELP Should i break up with this girl as she is not girlfriend material or am i doing something wrong?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009): Hey there my dear.I'm sorry u have to go through this.I was visiting the website an came past ur question thinking "hey,that girl sounds a bit like me".
The reason why I don't want "commitment" and constant communication is so that I have the freedom to enjoy someone while not getting emotionally tied down.
This is pretty much an insecurity (from being hurt in past relationships too),cos when the emotions,titles,labels etc come in - there's pressure and expectations and things start to go downhill from there cos guys generally don't live up to it.
So why complicate matters? :) - however,reading on,I'm not sure if this girl is really into you.not that into you.
Its terrible to be at the receiving end of the symphathy card and emotional blackmail.and even if its insecurity,all this means is ur never gonna be happy until she sorts her shit out (good luck to you on fixing her physcological problems)
My advice,your are fortunate its still early days,you seem like an awesome supportive boyfriend,and you deserve to be treated with the same measure of respect and love that you give.
Be brave,bite the bullet,and leave - it may feel aweful now,but in the long term,u will look back and know you did what is best for you -dont undersell your self or your worth,there's soo many girls out there who would kill to have a man treat them like how you treat this girl.
Finally,here's a storey a friend told me.there was a man who bought a house at an unbeleivable rate,the only condition given to him by the owner was that a nail on the door would always belong to the original owner.so the both agreed.
Somehow the relationship turned bad and the original owner wanted the place back -the buyer objected.the next day on the nail of the door was a decaying carcass of an animal-he could do nothing as d nail did not belong to him but the original owner.should he leave or stay with the unbearable stench and sight?
Moral,when you leave,do it proper else she will find a way back in and its not gona be pretty,you'll probably end up hurting aver again.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 December 2009):
You're not doing anything wrong. She likes the status symbol of having a boyfriend, and perhaps isn't quite mature enough to really know what a relationship is. It's one thing to have a boyfriend and sometimes speak to him and spend time with him, but entirely another to actually be ignoring him. Even her own friends are saying you can do better. My advice would be to do as they say. End this relationship and find someone better, or focus on yourself for a while.
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