A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:BACKGROUND:Ok so there's this guy called E.(2 years older)I met him on a dating app while I'm on an overseas internship. We seem to chat alright online.However when we met, we're both socially awkward and it was hard to get a good conversation down. But we managed to warm up a bit to each other. The thing is, he's going to the UK to study for a year and by then, I'd be back at my own country. I thought he was boyfriend material so I had to ask him out. (But started on a friend note, where I was giving him tips to get a girl***)I told him to try to get a girl in the UK, but he say that LDR aren't a good idea since you live far from each other.When we talked, he told me that he wished there were more girls like me. "Too bad you don't live in my country." Another line he said.He also confessed that he was shy and always been the kind to wait for a girl to come his way. His only ex was some butch 2 years ago and they never really did romantic stuff together. (But he improved himself and tried to get over his ex)------------------------------------------------------------------------------WHAT HAPPENED:Our first "date" ended up with a kiss; he asked for my consent.The second date we held hands and made out. (Which I asked him out; it's now or never.)He gave me a parting gift (his wristband) in response to my origami "gift".He told me that he associated a song to a memory with me when we kissed; Stuck on a Puzzle - Alex Turner. (Which was sweet honestly.)------------------------------------------------------------------------------MY FRUSTRATION:We left it off at a cliffhanger. Like an avant-garde film, many things were left unsaid. I'm confused. What kind of relationship do we have?1. Just Friends that got romantic in the heat of the moment?2. A potential long distance relationship? (Though otherwise?)I'm frustrated, left with a heavy heart, pondering over this mess.------------------------------------------------------------------------------THE CONFUSING SIGNS:- We still text each other (Very often but in a casual way)- He left me his wristband and a song dedicated to me.- He wished that there were more girls like me. (Seems like he wanted to get together with me but alas.)- We interacted with each other romantically irl.I really, really want to ask him; what kind of relationship do we have?How do I go about approaching him in regards to that?****It's so hard, since we have been casually chatting.It doesn't seem like there's any openings.I wonder if there's any potential to future this once he's done with his studies.Any suggestions and point of view would be appreciated soooo much. Thank you.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (28 September 2015):
 Aw, he sounds like a nice enough guy. You had two dates that ended with nothing beyond his wishing you lived in his country.
I think crushes are normal and common and for the time that they last, delicious! I wouldn't put more weight on this though, than an online friend that won't grow beyond this.
I do think that if he wanted more, he'd be pursuing you. He knows you like him and knows your contact information.
If you are the kind of woman who needs closure, one way or the other, I would work up my courage and ASK him.
Otherwise, if you are of the opinion that the man drives the relationship, there's not much you can do beyond wait for him to contact you.
In the meantime, I'd be very very busy with friends and I would not be as available for him if and when he contacts you.
I'd make him wait some hours before you respond. Then I'd be light and bright and say "oh whoops wasn't able to get back to you as fast as normal, I've been out with friends and forgot the phone"
or
"out with friends atm, will try to text when I have some spare time, gosh isn't it lovely when you're laughing so hard your sides ache? :) I am enjoying a nice night [or day] out, you're a nice guy and I don't want to appear rude, so please do forgive me if I don't get back to you right away!"
I'd make him wait to hear from you and I'd make him work for your attention. This is assuming you've been very responsive and reply right away.
I would assume things were over but I would do that in a nice way and without animosity, I'd blame it on distance and circumstances.
A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (28 September 2015):
 Right now, no. I see no opening for even a Long Distance Relationship. He said it himself. He wished you lived in his country but you do not. That's it. From what I see, he does like you and obviously the potential was there for something romantic but the distance is a big deterrent. So I would say that you two have now reverted to a friendship. Who knows? That could be a great stepping stone to a relationship later but as of now, with the distance and the different things you both have going on, I think you'd both be happier enjoying what you have now. You have fond memories and his wristband is a lovely keepsake. Good friends are very hard to come by so don't focus so much on making him a LDR boyfriend. LDRs can work but very rarely do they, relationships never need more stress and distance adds a lot of it for sure. You're always wanting and needing more cause you're human and physically seeing one another is important. On another note, I may be off here on what you meant on referring to his ex as "butch" but please, be careful. This is a very diverse site and I've come to see that some words written without malice sometimes actually can come through as offensive. Best of luck
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