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Is this controlling behaviour?

Tagged as: Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 July 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 August 2009)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hey guys! Question!

My grandmother just passed away and I've been having a really rough time. I'm not sure if I'm just overreacting because I'm going through all of this, or if this is how a normal person would react?

Anyway, my boyfriend keeps using this tone with me whenever we talk/text/chat on msn. It's drives me crazy. He usually writes nice little texts but when his mood changes he does the "Yeah." and goes all short. I can usually tell when he's angry or upset because he uses punctuation.

Anyway, called him tonight and he was using that tone with me. It's almost like "I'm mad that you're having fun with people who aren't me."kind of tone Because I was texting him about how much i loved my grampy and i'm glad that I still have him around.

Anyway, I asked him what was wrong, I got the usual "nothing" and then I was like Okay, well whatever. We usually mirror each others moods. Anyway.. I told him I didn't really wanna talk anymore and that I was going to head to bed. He said okay, bye.

I usually leave my MSN open at night and I leave my laptop on. My status was "away". He msged me and said "Are you going to bed or what?" and I told him I had to do something before I went to bed. (I had to send an email to my uncle) and then he went off and said if I didn't want to talk to him then I should have just said so and that I'm a liar and i shouldn't lie to him about going to bed and he was going to bed for real and I should enjoy whatever I was going. and Bye. He says all this and runs offline, like he usually does.

I've often wondered if this behaviour is like controlling or what it is? because it has me baffled. It has happened before. I've never been in such a long relationship before so I'm not sure if this is how it's supposed to be. Anyway, thanks for answering. I could really use some input.

View related questions: grandmother, liar, msn, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009):

I would 'run a mile' from this relationship. I think your b.f. is controlling in that he is trying to use his moods to make you feel guilty for having a good time without him. His behaviour will only get worse over time as he is obviously very insecure in your relationship.

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A female reader, love-struckxo Canada +, writes (27 July 2009):

love-struckxo agony auntI wouldn't say his behavior is controlling, but it's definatley selfish. You just lost your grandmother and you have every right in the world to be sad if you want too and you should be able to talk to him about your grandma.

It doesn't sound like he is very supportive, but I don't know day in and day out of your relationship.

Your not overreacting - he's acting sketchy and of course it's going to bother you. Obviously something is bothering him. So you tell him how you feel about his behavior and then he can go on about how he feels about his.

This relationship can be fixed with a little patience and a little more communication.

Keep Smiling.

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

Sounds like jealous childish behaviour to me. If this man cannot support you during stressful times he is not a good partner. You do not seem to have good communcation and there does not seem to be a good level of respect. Maturity needed here.

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