A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has been living away from our home for work for most of the past year, I see him once a week now, and he is not really a phone person, so it's short phonecalls only during the week, I've been finding it hard, but when I see him everything is ok, so I try to put up with it. During this time, I've gotten very close to a guy in work, it's friends only, we're both in long-term relationships, but I'm in contact with him every day, and he sometimes calls over to my house. Nothing has ever happened between us but we often end up cuddling on the couch, and I really enjoy his company. No-one in work and neither of our partners know we are close friends. Sometimes it feels a little underhand but I dont' think we're doing anything wrong, it's just that I'm not sure anyone would understand our relationship. I do worry that I'm getting too close, sometimes he knows a lot more about what's going on in my life than my boyfriend. Should I continue with this friendship? Or what do people think of the situation? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (25 May 2009):
 I smell an emotional affair in the air. It's a BIG red flag that neither of your partners know that you are friends. Why not? Why are both of you hiding this friendship? That's not healthy at all. If it's only a friendship no one will see anything wrong with it.
Talk to your boyfriend and tell him how hard this separation has been on you, and stop having this guy come over to the house.
A
female
reader, misswalston +, writes (25 May 2009):
 Only continue with the relationship if you can honestly say that you are not physically attracted to him. When you and he are cuddling on your couch, how are you feeling? If it feels good, but good in a sexual way, then I would suggest maybe not letting him come over. Just because you are in a long term relationship doesn't mean it is a happy one. I have been married for 7 years and honey, I aint happy!!! So if you keep spending that kind of time with him, something might just happen that you probably wouldn't mind, but it will lead to all sorts of confusion and complications especially if you are not ready to give your boyfriend up........Or Are You.........
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): Secret friendship plus cuddling on the couch equals an upcoming affair. You guys are starting something and it will lead to sex. Think hard about what you want in your life and what you want the outcome to be.
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