A
male
age
41-50,
*ind boggled
writes:Is this cheating? I just now found out that while my long time GF and I were going through our turbulent part of our relationship, she was going out partying more and more, we would fight and stop speaking for weeks, and at times for a month or two, we would speak and text each other here and there, but a friend of mine told me that he saw her getting very comfortable with this other guy at clubs on several occasions, mind you we had bank accounts together, we were looking for a house to buy, but we were very turbulent, and would break up for a bit, but everytime we would renconcile I would ask her if she saw anyone else, and she'll deny it to the fullest, so I just found out that during one of our break ups (in which we were still trying to reconcile and move in together) she had sex with the guy on and off during our break ups, this lasted on and off for 3 months but she and the guy would still text one another whenever we would get back together.. I know its cheating, but she's trying to say it wasn't because she would only have sex with him during our "breaks" and she said it was my fault because I was also cheating on her with my kids mother.. I know I was wrong, but I admit it, the thing is that she doesn't think she was wrong nor cheating.. Your thoughts please?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): The question you should really be asking is 'Is this going to work?'.
If you've both cheated and bicker because one of you doesn't believe it's cheating, is it really worth being in this relationship.
If you were broken up when you saw other people then it wasn't cheating, but the fact you've broken up more than once just shows how stable your relationship is.
A
female
reader, Lotsalove. +, writes (4 January 2011):
 This is difficult because although you were arguing and breaking up, you kept getting back together. It doesnt really count as cheating if you were broken up at the time. Maybe she just denied it because she knew you two would get back together, and it'd be better left unsaid.
These things happen when couples argue and don't speak for weeks, you can't point a finger at her for cheating when there are 3 pointing back at you, you even said you were hooking up with your kids mother.
The main thing you both want to focus on is the stability of your relationship. You keep breaking up and stop speaking for weeks even months on end?? Every relationship encounters problems but you work through them and move on.
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