A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hay,I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We really love each other and we're planning to move in together soon.So here's my problem or should i say I don't really know if it's already a problem.I've met a man who is nearly 20 years older than me (I'm 25). The first time he saw me, he immediatly complimented my eyes and said that i seem to be very interesting woman. And then he asked me out for drinks. I didn't take his compliment and invitation very seriously as I'm used to get these kind of compliments from men quite often. And especially because I'm in relationship of course.But then we started talking and he told me he is psychologist too (I'm finishing psychology study this year) and soon I've found out we have a lot of other stuff in common. So after talking to my boyfriend and making clear to this man that I don't have any intention to cheat on my boyfriend, I've accepted his dinner invitation. It was great and we talked a lot about everything. Then before we went home he hugged me and gave me kisses on cheeks. I was ok with that.When I've got home from dinner I received his messege that he regrets that he he didn't steal kiss from me. But despite that I think he understand that I'm not going to cheat on my boyfriend because of him.So here's the deal. After I met this man I became more horny and have much more sex with my boyfriend tha before. I also check my phone more often to see if I've got some new messages from this man (we're texting everyday). I also want more and more touches and kisses from my boyfriend than before. And while having sex I never think about that man or I'm not really attracted to him sexually. It's like he is my aphrodisiac but i don't want to have sex with him, because he is not my type really. But I can't deny that I would like to meet him again. So my question is - Is this cheating? Why do I suddenly want to have more sex than before even I don't want to have sex with that man? What would you do - would you break a contact with this older man?I really don't understand myself anymore!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (3 February 2016):
 Don't you already know the answer to this OP? Do you honestly think that anyone here is going to tell you "Oh no, go ahead, this is perfectly fine and harmless".
You *know* what the older man's intentions are. He'd do anything to be with a young, attractive 25 year old woman and he'll say all the right things to you. You'll believe him even though you know he's just saying all this to get into your pants because it makes you feel good about yourself. That's the reason why you're more into sex with your boyfriend. Because he's making you feel good about yourself, he's making you feel wanted, he's making you feel sexy. This attention is new and exciting and its making you reach out for more. Its like a drug. And you know what drugs do, right?
There's your answer.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2016): Please OP, don't attempt to play with fire. Because you will get burned.
Break off contact with this older man. You may not be sexually attracted now but the more your connection builds, it's very likely you will be attracted to this man. Only now your attraction will be stronger because it did not start off physically but built over time and a non-physical connection i.e. emotional,intellectual and mental one.
Walk away from this mess in the making.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, goldie22  +, writes (2 February 2016):
In short unless you want to cheat , you should break contact as he seems to want more than you do
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A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (2 February 2016):
 Most definitively, break all connection with the older guy. If there is no future, then why tempt your self into infidelity. For sure, all infidelity starts by feeling so good, and then it slips into a nightmare. It isn't a nightmare for you yet, you are not cheating, but you are on that road, at a baby, starting step. The result of it is that you will loose both men.
As for your arousal, it could be a result of the attention and the seductive game the older guy played on you. But don't make a mistake cheating women do, cuz you are at that fork: instead of running to their BF to fix the relationship for the better, cheaters run to another man who will ruin what's left of it.
So enjoy your new horny self, but be sure you go no contact with the older guy, and speak to your BF so you two can arrange more intense romance, more attention to you, more seduction. You are educated and smart, you will figure out how to deal with your BF once you choose to do so.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 February 2016):
 It could be that you both clicked so well with your conversation that you found a connection. This could raise your libido. It is okay as long as it is sex with your boyfriend. If your boyfriend is okay with this friendship then you are doing nothing wrong. However he has hinted so far that he wants more than a friendship by saying that he wishes he had stole a kiss. You need to be clear with him that you will not tolerate these suggestions as they are unfair to your boyfriend.
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