A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has a very disturbing relationship with his mother, it is a huge turn off.. I mean yes I would like a guy that loves his mother and gets along well with her but my boyfriend is way beyond that extent.I don't mean in a sexual sense, not at all, but he is very much mummys little boy, despite being an adult!Whenever she has a bath, he will use the bathwater after her. Is it just me or is that extremely bizaare and poor hygiene?! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your responses, I think the bathwater would be less of an issue if he wasn't such a mummys boy in every other way.
She still does everything for him, his weekly routine is entirely controlled by her, he has a curfew, if we are still awake in the early hours of the morning on the weekend (not even making noise) she will scold him and tell him he needs more sleep (I don't think a 20 year old staying up till 2am is anything that needs scolding).
It is driving me insane, he has to ask permission before he comes over here or goes anywhere really and if it's after 8.30 or so his mother will say no!
While she is an absolute control freak (she is actually a lovely woman if I didn't have to deal with that aspect of her) I know it is also his fault for not exerting his independence and allowing himself to be treated like a child.
It makes me feel like I am not dealing with an equal or a partner but a child! I have addressed the issue with him so I suppose I just need to vent!
Any advice or similar stories are very welcome, thanks again
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (15 September 2008):
 My kids shared bath water with me when they were little but I dont think any of the older ones, or me, would want to now. It does sometimes seem to be the case of mummy's boy and daddy's girl.
In my first marriage my then husband's mum drove me mad at first, coming round to do his washing, turning up and letting herself in til I confiscated the key, feeding him on his way home from work so that when he got home he didnt want the meal I had slaved over, etc etc etc
Once she realised I could take care of her little boy she backed off and we became friends but to be honest he was a bit too much of a mummy's boy for me. My new husband respects his mother but left home to go away to college at 16 so is in no way a mummy's boy. Just see how he is in other ways and if he ALWAYS listens to mummy and chooses her over you, then start to worry!!!! x
...............................
A
female
reader, Gio  +, writes (15 September 2008):
don't worry too much (only a little bit) about the water matter...as someone said already, maybe saving on bills...
but think about the mummy's boy problem, yes, it is a problem, unless you are prepared to be second in his list of priorities.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008): The bath thing is not such a big deal - I mean I wouldn't do it but I know lots of families do. When I was a kid I used to share bath water with my little sister and I wouldn't exactly call it bizarre or unhygienic. Unless you have leprosy or something who cares... but his being a mommy's boy is probably a bit of a bigger deal...
...............................
|
