A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think my ex has bipolar disorder but im not very sure. His sister is bipolar, and his dad died about 2 years ago. He hasnt been the same ever since, and goes through these phases of changes it seems like even if he is in a relationship, usually he gets into one relationship or another, but he makes it SERIOUS saying he wants to be with them forever but i think this comes from trying to escape he just wants a focus so he doesnt have to focus on other things.In regards to our relationship i think he is with someone totally new because he doesnt want to deal with the "pain" i guess that we have experienced in our relationship so he is just starting a whole new one.Is this a good idea? it doesnt seem like he is sincere or happy, i know him inside and out, and think this regardless what he tells me i can just tell. So when he gets a girlfriend he is ALL about them and im afraid he will never just stop and learn to love HIMSELF i dont think he is mentally stable enough to do this.They say bipolar can be triggered from a death in the family or some significant trama in your life. Im thinking that he might have it because he searches for "cures" aka "girlfriends" until he starts to become on happy but then his girlfriend unknowingly think thats its them and not him but i think regardless of how "happy" he thinks he is now he is just going to end up hurt. He always tells me i was the first one to break him down and i will always have a hold on him, i know our breakup devestated him but like his fathers death he wont deal with he just goes and gets a new girlfriend. He recently told me he doesnt have any feelings towards me anymore and i know this isnt true because just 2 weeks ago he was texting me and wouldnt go a day without saying he loved me (even while in his new relationship) and now 2 weeks later he says leave me alone im trying to make my relationship work and i dont have any feelings towards you anymore.He doesnt text me anymore unless i text him and the only time he calls is when he has a breakdown. They say bipolar people can go through there phases and completely forget about people they had a relationship with and act like that person never existed in there world. Right now-thats what he is doing to me. Any diagnoses from the characteristics you've read? Not dealing with pain, jumping into a new relationship, blocking out people they love the most, going through "phases" even during a relationship, shutting our there feelings and "telling" themselves they either dont want it or it doesnt exist so they dont have to deal with it. Is this bipolar or something else? Thanks a lot for the help!
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (16 January 2010):
No...I wouldn't say so. My ex is bipolar, and he does seem to jump from relationship to relationship and try to move things along quickly, then gets bored or has an episode, disappears and ends up with someone new.
If that's all you have that would make you think he's bipolar, then no. There's a lot more to it than how someone would act just in a relationship. You would notice other things that don't even pertain to the relationship that would make you question it. It's not always but what I noticed was: drug abuse, sudden fits of rage, sudden happiness, accusations out of nowhere...that kind of stuff.
It does sound like he's probably immature and doesn't know how to deal with his feelings, along with being codependent. He wants one thing; then wants another. That's not bipolar...he may be depressed sometimes and confused, but who isn't? Though, you should definitely move on from this guys, it sounds like he only brings you down.
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