A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When my sister had her daughter, I promised to help her take care of her (for example, babysit her while she's at school). I never promised to raise her kid for her.My sister is a very blessed (aka spoiled) fifteen year old, who got involved with an older guy and he ditched her when he found out she was pregnant. I don't think that's a valid enough reason for her expect me or my parents to watch her daughter for her. I graduated in May, so I've been spending a lot of time at home. And because of that, she seems to think that I can watch her daughter 24/7; from the time she gets home from school to when she goes to bed. And on weekends she seems to think she can go party or whatever. Believe me, I have said no to watching her more than once. But when you do that, she throws a huge temper-tantrum. Then I'm speechless; I have nothing to say to her. It's like, believe or not, I have a life; a boyfriend and I'm going to apprentice at a dance studio. As for my parents, they're stressed out. My mother is currently one of 2 doctors that are on-call right now and my father is on a business trip.How can I get it through my sister's head that I can't and will not raise her kid for her?
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (16 January 2010):
Well first of all, she's still your parents' responsibililty regardless if they're busy, she's only 15! I say you need to have a talk with your parents and tell them that she nor her child are your responsibility and that she needs to quit the tantrums and that if she wanted to do big girl things like have sex, then she should act like a big girl and take responsibility for her actions. It's ridiculous that she's 15 with a child and is allowed to go out and party on the weekends.
If your parents are still unwilling to do anything (which no offense), I wouldn't be surprised since she ended up knocked up in the first place and still continues to be spoiled, then you need to stand your ground. Tell her absolutely not. Either try to not be around the house as much, even if it's to go window shopping (suddenly disappearing might work) or tell her you have plans and you can't watch her child, even if your plan is to go to sleep before midnight and watch freakin' Matlock reruns that night.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (16 January 2010):
 She knows that all she has to do is start screaming and you'll cave. Now you have to let her know, after all the screaming is done, that you're still not doing it. Don't let her manipulate you with temper tantrums and stick to your guns. It will take a while but eventually she will get the message.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, ForeverDawn +, writes (16 January 2010):
 Make it clear to her that its her child and that you wont put up with her I understand she is your sister but sometimes you have to be mean to get through to people And when she throws a tantrum just walk away if you can leave the house and leave her alone with her daughter Don't take over she needs to develop a bond with her child and in order to do that she needs some alone time make yourself busy don't be so available for her And don't worry she is young but she will learn to be a mom if you give her the chance She is not the first girl this has happened to!!!
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