A
female
age
41-50,
*milybear
writes:Dear all.I'm currently been with my bf for 7 months and things are going well.I've noticed though that on Facebook the same girl a work friends keeps posting on his wall and even posted a pic of them two sitting together we her leaning into him. Now I Don't mind that she seems to have a crush but she sent me a blank message and when I went on her FB timeline she as used that picture as her main photo they look like a couple!I mean it states his in a relationship with me but she uses that photo over a week after she first posted it!I Don't want to question my bf about it but seriously I'm annoyed can't she sees it looks silly.So what would any guy think about another women doing this? I was a bit naughty and looked in his messages(wrong I know)and found a bit of banter between them with her teasing him and him reply you can suck my d++k and like that did u when she laughed! found this disrespectful but except it could be banter (their both in the army)but what with this as well should I be worried?Thank you.
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crush, facebook, teasing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (3 July 2012):
Should you confess? That’s up to you, but here are a few pointers to help you make the decision.
The most important question is this: can you accept that there is no evidence that he’s cheated, or will it eat you up unless you confront him about the messages? If you need to confront him, you’ll have to confess because it’ll be obvious that you’ve read his messages. If you don’t think that you need to confront him, why bother confessing? Instead, change your password, and tell him that it’s important to have trust in a relationship, so tell him that you’re happy for him to change his Facebook password and not tell you what it is. You can tell him that it’s a gesture to show that there’s trust in the relationship, which it indeed would be. If you can move on and forget about what you’ve read, therefore, you don’t have to confess, though you can if you are overwhelmed by guilt. Instead, use this incident to redraw the boundaries in the relationship, so that passwords can be kept private without any suspicion being caused. The more trust, the happier you will both be in this relationship.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, Emilybear +, writes (3 July 2012):
Emilybear is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've have felt guilty ever since I think he knows,do u think I should confess?
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (3 July 2012):
What you should be worried about is the fact that you have so little trust in this relationship that you feel the need to go snooping through his messages. If these were private messages, you must have his password: wrong! Change your password, get him to change his, and don’t share them with each other, otherwise you’ll never learn to trust each other. This is yet another instance of misuse of social networking sites having a destructive impact on relationships.
Apart from a bit of distasteful language in the messages, is there any evidence that he’s actually done anything with this girl? You mightn’t like the fact that she uses the photo as her profile picture, but that’s her choice, not a decision that he has made. The photo sounds innocent enough. There is no evidence of wrong-doing on your boyfriend’s part.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (3 July 2012):
 Unfortunately we're not mind readers, best thing to do is just talk to your man about it, get the facts then go from there.
Good luck!
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