A
female
age
41-50,
*oneybeer
writes:I met a guy who is 38 years old and I am 27.. It had never crossed my mind that I would like him.. U ignored him initially.. Than later due to his many attempts of asking me out, I agreed. The whole process takes bout 1.5 mths.. We started to be very close to each other. He had never mentioned he was married until I checked with my friend on his background to know he is actually married with 1 kid. He confessed that he likes me and wanna chase me.. I couldn't resist being with him than coz it's just so comfortable with him (even though I knew about his family) we flirt, we kissed, lucky thing is no sex!! Than next the wife texted me informing me that she is his wife and that she now knows about the lack of love she provides him, and is willing to work on rekindling the love between them.. I text her back wishing her the best. I called him up, telling him about the SMS.. He said he is so messed up.. He seems to be afraid of his wife.. I feel sad.. At one point, I wanted so much for them to be together again and at the other point, I can't resist the concern he shared for me.. I began encouraging him to make an effort towards them. Slowly, he sounded positive. One day we met for dinner, and I realised he has a ring on now! I somehow have mixed feelings.. I missed the kiss, the attention he given me.. But somewhere in my head tells me i should back off.. it seems my counselling works for him.. He has not text or call me already.. I am the one now who feels like texting or calling him.. I want his attention!! But I do know that it's no longer the same. Am strongly restraining myself now.. Wat should I do??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 You should just stay away from him. He pursued you at first so it wasn't your fault, but now you know the truth and you really don't want to get in the middle of another person's marriage. Heck, the have a child. You cannot get involved with that mess.
And you deserve more than to be "the other woman". I know you want the attention and miss him, but he's trouble. He's cheated on his wife with you, what's to stop him from doing the same to you? If you care about him, don't tempt him by communicating with him. Just stay away and let him focus on his marriage. With any luck, he'll fix things with his wife and you'll meet a nice SINGLE man.
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