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Is this all normal behavior during sex?

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 January 2011) 13 Answers - (Newest, 5 January 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Im in a new relationship and recently had sex with this man for the first time, during the act he spoke out about what he was seeing ie youve opened your legs wide for me, he shouted out on 3 occasions while looking away "fuckoff" as if to someone else. He kept asking me to open my eyes and look at him, he said i was vulnerable as i went into a world of my own, twice he gently put his hand over my throat as if sizing up, then quickly removed it. Is this all normal behavior?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011):

I'm glad you're going to listen to the advice. Just break it off with him in a safe way.

It could be that he is not violent or deranged, but that is something you don't want to take any chance on.

I also would think after knowing him for 9 months there must have been some sign that something is not right with him, there are usually signs pretty quickly if we are alert and we listen to our judgement.

I'm also surprised that you were able to continue to have sex with him- I would have left as soon as he went creepy!

Even if he is not a danger I believe he has some serious issues that you don't want to deal with.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thankyou all for taking time to respond and give me advice.

To the lady whos comment i rated as poor. Oops sorry it was meant to be high. I spent 9 months getting to know this guy before getting into his bed and did have a good feeling about him and saw a future. As every reply pretty much told me to run then id be foolish not to listen.

Thankyou all again, much appreciated.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (4 January 2011):

Honeypie agony auntTotal turn off!

I can't say what "normal" is and s not, but it is THANKFULLY not anything I have ever experienced.

I'd be freaked the heck out.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (4 January 2011):

olderthandirt agony auntI don't think grabbing your partner's throat is 'normal' under ANY conditions much less while having sex. Run, young lady,Run!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011):

Just reading your description made me very uncomfortable and my first thought was, this guy's really off.

This may be normal sex behavior for some, but if it made you the least bit uncomfortable, speak up right away or lose this guy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011):

"he shouted out on 3 occasions while looking away "fuckoff" as if to someone else"

...CREEPY! Unless he is clairvoyant and sees ghosts of other guys who want to bang you.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (4 January 2011):

BrownWolf agony aunt

Normal compare to what??? Compare that to all your other sexual experiences...and the answer is???

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011):

He might be a violent man. Or this could just be a thing he likes to do.

Ask him which one and if he tells you he is able to do violence I would break up with him.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (4 January 2011):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntNot normal. Huge red flag.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011):

I agree that this is not normal! He sounds like a nutcase to me. Stop seeing him is my advice.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (4 January 2011):

eyeswideopen agony auntCreepy very creepy

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A male reader, Kenj United Kingdom +, writes (4 January 2011):

Kenj agony auntNo its not normal. Sounds like he has some fantacy or other issues. Be very careful.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (4 January 2011):

Sounds to me like this guy has some hidden 'issues' somewhere, and that he likes to be violent in be. Seriously be careful with him, because he might start hitting you or something.

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