A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im so embarassed because I recently started to masturbate and need help. I've read pages on the internet saying how it isnt a sin and some saying that it is. So idk what to do?! I want to but I feel guilty and weird like I'm sinning really bad. ahhh please help
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (27 April 2009):
p.s. - My comment about your maturity was NOT intended to be an insult in any way!! It's just a statement about where you are in life
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (27 April 2009):
"purplemonster", once again I am pleased to hear that you are referring to your faith as a source of guidance within your life!
The Roman Catholic Church officially condemns masturbation as shown by Pope Paul VI, in "Persona Humana - Declaration on Certain Questions Concerning Sexual Ethics," issued by the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, on 1975-DEC-29:
"...masturbation is an intrinsically and seriously disordered act...the deliberate use of the sexual faculty outside normal conjugal relations essentially contradicts the finality of the faculty. For it lacks the sexual relationship called for by the moral order, namely the relationship which realizes ‘the full sense of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love.’ All deliberate exercise of sexuality must be reserved to this regular relationship."
I am certain that within your faith community there are people who totally reject this teaching, as well as those who struggle to conform to the standards, and others who fully accept it. Within any consistent faith or philosophy there are teachings and practices which are foundational, and MUST be held at all costs; and others that can be grasped more loosely, discussed, debated, and perhaps changed over time; and still others which are merely customary within a particular subgroup that you happen to be associated with.
It will take a LOT of courage, and perhaps more maturity than than you have at your age, but I think this is something you should discuss with knowledgeable clergy or lay teachers within your denomination. You don't have to admit to them "I have just started masturbating . . .", but rather find somebody who can comfortably discuss the church's position on this matter. After hearing the explanation you will be in a better position to decide how you will deal with this in your own life: reject it as a false teaching (perhaps even searching out other faiths that take a different approach); or confessing it as a sin, seeking forgiveness and absolution, and assistance overcoming the habit; or fully agreeing with the teaching and abandoning the activity.
This is, by the way, an example of many ethical and moral questions you will be faced with over the next ten years or so of your life. If I was your parent, I would be more concerned with HOW you go about finding answers rather than the exact answers you adopt.
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A
female
reader, purplemonster10 +, writes (15 April 2009):
Im sorry I didnt clarify but I'm catholic
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 What religion are you, if I may ask?
See, there's what a religion actually TEACHES and there are people who don't understand their faith.
I was raised Baptist. There were people at my church who condemned masturbation as "sinful." However, I don't think that ALL Baptists believe that masturbation is sinful.
We can't have rules for everything, and it's not wrong or sinful to think and reason. I don't know if you are a Christian, and I don't want to offend you if you're not but this is an example. I don't recall anything in the Bible about masturbation. You can't catch a disease from masturbation, you can't get pregnant from masturbation, and there don't seem to be any consequences. People have sexual urges, and masturbation seems like a way to release those urges. I may regret saying this one day, but I don't understand how God can create someone to have these desires and then condemn them for it.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (14 April 2009):
 Don't believe everything you read on the internet or in 2000 year old fairy tales either!
Do what makes you feel good, respect others and treat people the way you would like to be treated yourself, and always try to make a difference.... Isn't that the basis of most religions with out the "Thu must not wear polyester and cotton"
I think as long as you sacrifice a goat, you will be forgiven your sins! HA HA
Have fun
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A
male
reader, CrazyMind +, writes (14 April 2009):
 I think the idea of masturbation being a sin comes from what you're thinking while you're masturbating - whether or not you're lusting while you masturbate, or simply doing so without any sexual fantasies in mind.You say you want to do it, but then feel guilty after doing so. Feeling guilty about doing so would show you believe it is a sin. On the other hand, God made humans, knowing 100% what we'd do and that people would explore their bodies. God knows everything you do, and understands how you feel.If masturbating stops you committing something that is clearly defined as sinful, e.g. sex outside of marriage; then I'd say it's the lesser of two evils.There is no definitive answer; pray about your situation, and maybe an answer shall come your way.God bless,Crazy
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): You feel wrong and as though you have sinned because you have been indoctrinated into believing that pleasure is evil, and that your body is dirty. The objective truth is that nobody is watching you, and it doesn't matter.One day, your thinking will evolve.
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A
female
reader, xcrazygirl08x +, writes (14 April 2009):
I'm really not sure. Masturbation is a perfectly natural act committed by millions everyday. If you feel the need to relieve yourself: Why not? You should really check with someone in your religion (eg: a priest) if they consider it a sin). If it is to them: you have a choice: you do it regardless and learn to overcome your guilt. Or you don't, and find ways to distract yourself or find someone you can talk to about it (maybe someone who is going through the same thing). Honestly, i do it myself and feel no guilt. But what really matters is if it is a sin in your eyes. Hope this helps, hun.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): I've looked at sites and some say it's a sin and some say it's not. But I have to go with my conscience. When I'm done, I feel and know I've sinned.
You have to go with your conscience. If you can do it and not feel anything after, then to you it's probably not. But if you're here asking, it probably bothers you and thus, it is a sin.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (14 April 2009):
First of all, I commend you for looking to your faith as a source of guidance in how to conduct your daily life. That in itself displays a contradiction of the "myself, my affluence, and my pleasure" attitude prevalent among many people.
Without engaging the question of what constitutes a "Christian", I can say the Roman Catholic Church condemns masturbation as shown by Pope Paul VI, in "Persona Humana - Declaration on Certain Questions Concerning Sexual Ethics," issued by the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, on 1975-DEC-29:
"...masturbation is an intrinsically and seriously disordered act...the deliberate use of the sexual faculty outside normal conjugal relations essentially contradicts the finality of the faculty. For it lacks the sexual relationship called for by the moral order, namely the relationship which realizes ‘the full sense of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love.’ All deliberate exercise of sexuality must be reserved to this regular relationship."
On the other hand, about two generations ago the Presbyterian Dr. Charlie Shedd wrote in "The Stork is Dead" (and echoed in other books) that masturbation is not just a neutral activity that people may undertake for either good or evil purposes, but may actually be a gift from God. He argues that it can be used to avoid truly sinful sex, or that it can become a compulsive, degrading and harmful addiction.
As embarrassing as it is, your question really needs to be answered by leaders within your own denominational circle. Some of them, like the Roman Catholic position, will have reasoned answers based on a systematic theology and time-tested precedent. Others have not developed an extensively integrated theology so they will rely more on the personal opinions of whoever is standing in the pulpit.
More discussion is in the thread "Is masturbation a sin?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-masturbation-a-sin.html
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (14 April 2009):
 Oh, this is one of those issues no one can agree about. If I said it's a sin, then one side of people will bury me at the stake (which is a sin, by the way, or at the very least a serious violation of human rights). If I said it isn't, then the Inquisition will make me recant.
I don't know what your religion is. I assume it's a religion that frowns on masturbation, or you wouldn't be talking about it being a sin. So, let's say yes, it's a sin, if your religion defines it as such. Should you not do it? Your religion says you shouldn't. What do you think?
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