A
female
age
41-50,
*hpcoal
writes:I've been with my current boyfriend for the past 8 years. Most everything is good in our relationship. We met in college when we were both 18. He's my first serious boyfriend and first lover. I guess what I want to know is what's normal. We don't have sex very often at all. It's normally about 1-2 times a month. Is this a sign that we shouldn't be together? I guess what it comes down to is that I'm wondering if this is how it is now, what will it be like later on in life? I am only 27 and don't feel wanted. I told him this and he says he loves me. I know he does. But I am just wondering if our relationship can last like this? I don't even know if I am attracted to him, sexually. Or vice versa. A lot of the times we feel more like friends than anything. I need some help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jihyun +, writes (7 July 2010):
I don't think you guys have to have a lot of sex to be a good relationship. I know I'm gonna wait till after I'm married.
But it seems like you guys are best friends, and that's really important in a relationship. You seem to have a great relationship/friendship. But if you have to doubt your feelings for him, then maybe you aren't meant to be. But if you're thinking of breaking up because of sex, don't. It's very stupid. A boyfriend should also be your best friend. Just remember that.
A
female
reader, Blue Sahara +, writes (7 July 2010):
 I think what's normal is different for everyone. Some people have sex 2 times a day and if they go down to once a day they are going to think something's wrong. But some other people would be more than happy to have sex once a day.
I think what's more important is you saying that you don't even know if you are sexual attracted to him anymore. 8 years is a long time to be together. It can definitely make you be comfortable with each other. Which can be a great thing or it can turn you into just friends.
If this is the way it is in 10 years will that be OK with you? I think that is something you should think of.
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