A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello! - What do you make of this?I'm with a man who is constantly short of cash!Anyway, the other day he sent me my Xmas card through the post with no stamp!! So muggins here had to pay!! - How bad is that?! - I havn't got round to asking him why there was no stamp - but what a bizarre thing to do !! - Is this a sign of bad treatment? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Anonny +, writes (17 December 2008):
Yes I must admit my man is like your man anon - but my man doesn't have much money at the moment and I don't mind paying for things for him - I just don't want to end up being taken for granted!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008): I'm a few years younger than you, but I often feel the same way in my relationship. I have a steady job and my boyfriend is an artist. I don't view it as being treated poorly, he does nice things for me when he can- things that don't cost money. The stamp thing feasibly could have been an accident- you never know. I wouldn't take it personally unless you really feel like the relationship isn't equal. Some people have money, some don't. We should share with those we love and not think twice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008): I just got out of a relationship with a guy who never had money. I'm not out for men with deep pockets, but it got really old ALWAYS having to pay my own way. The only time he ever paid for anything for me during 1 1/2 years was a small gift at Christmas and a $20 dinner on my birthday. On Valentines Day he bought me a card and the cheapest smallest box of candy he could find (for $1).
He has children to support and works 2 jobs to do this, so I forgave this as he had other really nice traits. However, he always seemed to have enough money for other things, like lunches out, DVD's and CD's, etc. And when we went out to eat dinner, not only would I pay my way but he was always a dollar or two short for his, and I would pay that as well. He was always going to pay me back, but never did. One time we were playing the "what do you not like about me" game, and you know what he didn't like about me? That if we went to a movie, I always got the large drink and never finished it, so I was wasting money!! And it was MY money at that, because I always paid my way, so why did he care?!
Now that I'm no longer in the relationship and have gotten some distance from it, I realize just how cheap he was. I don't know if yours falls into this category, but if he does, beware! If you stay together he will start begrudging you things.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008): Where's your Christmas spirit. You begrudge a cash strapped man the price of a stamp. Bah Humbug!
Happy Xmas.
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A
female
reader, Anonny +, writes (16 December 2008):
Thanks Emily - I appreciate your answer!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (16 December 2008):
No it's a sign that he's an idiot.
If he was treating you badly he wouldn't have sent one at all. I very much doubt that this is an elaborate ruse to con you out of £1.20 at the post office.
It's a case of put up or shut up here.
Accept that your guy is just a bit useless or find a different boyfriend.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008): This is what I make of your question. Your man is constantly short of cash so he needs to earn more or spend less.
You should ask him directly your questions, instead of asking third parties to second guess.
Bad behaviour isn't leaving a stamp off a letter.
Good luck
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