A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had sex with my ex bf 3 days ago and i felt extremely guilty for myself.I don't know what the hell am i doing after i left his house. Here is the story :Me and my ex went for a movie after 4 months of break up.He hug me,kiss me in the cinema.So I thought he still have feelings for me even though he had told me that he likes somebody else already.Then I went to his house, he hug me like before,so we started to make out and had sex.Then,I asked him whether do he still love me ? He said he only love me as a friend. He told me he likes another girl but maybe getting her. I didn't ask him why is he doing this to me because i was stunned till i walked to my car.(otw back home from his hse ) He didn't contact me at all after that day.I deleted him from fb n block him in skype.He added me twice in fb but i didnt accept.I don't know what to do right now.I need some specific actions so please stop telling me to ' move on '. Tell me how to have better life because i think i had done the worst mistake in my life :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo : Welsh Uncle Dave
yes. I had answered your question. it is stated below.
Those are my answers (:
A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (30 November 2010):
Sorry anonymous, I didn't explain my question very well. What I meant was what were you doing in those four months to try and move on?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello everyone.Thanks for the responses.
I knew it's hard to move on but i will try my best to :)
For Welsh Uncle Dave's question :
We just contact like normal in skype or text messages.
Like about once in a month.
We plan to meet up many times but failed due to busyness.
So right now I'm having holiday and he try to find his free time to meet up with me.
Both of us had moved on and I started dating other guys too.
But failed again because that guy was a player too.For him,I was unsure but I heard that he did date with some girls but not those serious type.Right now the girl that he is dating is kind of serious 1. He really looks like gonna get her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): You're on the right track. By stopping all contact, you are showing him that he can't just use u and expect everything to be fine. My advice, keep it up. Block him from your life. I kno you regret sleeping with him and you will prob always regret that. However, forgive yourself. Relize that you aren't at fault, he was for using you. Just don't let him do it again. "Foul me one, shame on you. Foul me twice, shame on me" sort of thing. Good luck! I hope you find a great guy in the future... one that deserves you!
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A
female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (29 November 2010):
 You are feeling horrible because you lowered your standard and put yourself in a position to be used by this man. I can tell you still have feelings for this guy. And he knows is. He knows he has a hold on you and that is why he can't let you go. Yet don't confuse this with love because he does not care about you.
A part of you will always want him to miss and love you. that is why you slept with him. A part of you thought maybe if he sees how much you love him and see you give your body to him, he will change his mind and love you again.
But you have to let those thoughts go. He does not care about you and it was just sex to him.
You did the right thing in deleting him and blocking him.
Block his number too and change it if you have to. Basically, make it like you dropped off the face of this earth. How can he get to you if he doesn't know where you are.
So
1. Cut all contact
2. Concentrate on things that make you happy. Pick up hobbies. Make new friends.
3. Take this time to heal and forgive yourself. We all make mistake, but its important to know why and not repeat it again.
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A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (29 November 2010):
 He has obviously moved on and he only wants you as a friend better yet a friend with benefit. Now can you give him these benefits without being in a relationship? Its really easy for a guy to have sex without having any emotions and if you allow him they will use your body for sexual pleasure but that's it, that's all you will be to them. Women tend to attached themselves more when having sex they don't only give there body but tend to give their heart as-well. My opinion is to leave him in the past. Your not prepare to be his friend with benefit so don't do it. He is interested in another gal therefor will not second look at you for a relationship. Don't feel guilty because you did not know how he really felt about you but now you so consider this a mistake but nothing to feel ashamed off.
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A
female
reader, Crazygirl20 +, writes (29 November 2010):
Hes your ex for a reason, because it didnt work out and you need to remember that, if he cant contact you and he says he likes another girl then he isn't worth it, you deserve better. You need to forget about this guy, you made a mistake, it happens but it isnt the end of the world. I think that maybe you're better to have a break from this guy, not talk to him for a while, that way you can move on and focus on other things. Go out with friends, have fun being single and eventually the right guy will come along. Focus on the people that care about you, not this loser. And more importantly focus on yourself, on your work your education, put yourself first and stop being so hard on yourself, you can do better without this guy. Good luck!!!
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (29 November 2010):
It sounds like he knew what he wanted from you and at least he was honest enough to say he fancied someone else too.
Regardless, you had sex and it was a mistake.
We all make mistakes and regret them. the important thing is you learn from it - that's the best advice I can give.
It's not the biggest mistake in the world - at least you were both single at the time.
You know you need to move on but we can't give you specific actions as we don't know you.
But are doing the right thing by deleting him as you are cutting contact.
What were you doing in the four months you and your ex were apart? Why can you not carry on in the same way?
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A
female
reader, B123  +, writes (29 November 2010):
 First of all I am going to tear the facts out of your story. I know you still harbour feelings for him and that is why you probably ended up having sex with him...but he has just disrespected you by saying he wants someone else! so he was just using you for a once-off moment.. (AND cheated on his current gf with you) JUST THINK for a second, imagine if you were to ever get him back as a bf - how could you trust he would not cheat on you like he has done with this poor girl?? Darling even your current gut instinct is telling you - you made a mistake...why don't you forget him and find someone new who does deserve you...and not someone who is just going to have sex with you when it suits him to...hugs..you will get over him as long as you never talk to him again...delete, forget and yes do move on...FOR YOUR SAKE and SANITY! Good luck...ultimately its up to you what you do at the end of the day...but I hope I have helped.
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