A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is this a normal ex friendship? My partner and i have recently seperated. we have 2 kids i am 36 and he 42. We parted for a number of reasons and it was i who instigated the seperation. One of our problems was his ex. At first i never had any kind of issues with there friendship and was unaware of the contact they had. They both were young '16' when they had a son together who is now 25. I started to notice little things such as him emailing her, arranging to meet her without telling me, he kept changing his passwords. He also would text her. I approached her about it and she said she wasnt interested in him and had moved on, she also said that she has a past with him and i cant take that away from her. which is not my intentions. I have noticed that he would fall out with her a lot and make nasty comments about her and whenever we fell out he would befriend her again. I started to get abit annoyed by this and we argued over this. I recently read a email from her to him asking why he ignores her when everything is ok and that she always changes her plans with people to see him. I felt very angry at this as it appears they must meet up and i have no knowledge of it. He regulary sends her photos of him via email and sends her silly little messages. Am i right to believe that they both obviosly still harbour some feeling as if he had moved on and had kids with me why does he still feel the need to keep in contact with her.
View related questions:
his ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (20 May 2011):
 Yes, it definitely sounds like something was up.
With his children from his previous relationship grown up, there really isn't too much of a need to be contacting this woman. Sending her pictures and otherwise being chummy, sort of crosses the lines, especially when you are in a relationship. If they've always had a friendship together, this might be something you might have to accept as part of the package.
While he may not have cheated, physically, it does sound extremely fishy. Out of respect, if you are going to meet an ex (for whatever reason) you let your partner know, so there is absolutely no bounds for misinterpretation.
Sadly, you and your two kids will now suffer because of your separation.
Hopefully you'll be able to work it out and your partner will realize that he needs to do whatever it takes to ease your suspicions. This is just a common courtesy where "ex's" are concerned. If the tables were turned, I imagine, he'd have similar expectations of you.
Sorry for your loss.
|
