A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ugh !! I am really confused. I have been with B for 3 years , we broke up ( over stupid issues that we are both correcting) but continued to date , we go out once or twice a week and talk daily . He tells me he loves me . The problem I have when I ask about our relationship status he says " can't we just be in the moment" . The confusing part is he tells other people we are together . He even talks about our plans we have with other people. When a mutal friend asked him what was up with us her told him " I love her and want to be with her and have her in my life" Ive over heard refer to me as his girlfriend but doesnt say it to me . He is aware I want a true commitment not marriage yet but eventually. Is this a male thing or or does he some weird issue ....
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): Yes, I think this lad def has some insecurity and that he may be torn between committment and non committment. I know guys like this and women have left them cause they are confused like you haha. I dont blame them...people deserve to know what is up in the relationship and what intentions are. You could perhaps be more patient and talk to him and see if he comes around in showing you exactly what he wants. Otherwise, it might be wise to not sit around and wait. good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): 3 years is a while. There should be some indications at this point of whether it is something long term or not. He sounds like he enjoys being committed to you, but can't say the words. This is common with some guys. It's not a red flag...just a sign he is not ready for some reason. I don't like that he skirts around the issue when you want to talk about it though. You have a right to discuss your relationship status. I would kindly sit down with him and explain it is very important to you to know where you stand. But make it clear you are not holding him to any obligations right now....you are just seeking confirmation of your status.
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 He may not be fully in love with you yet or he may be insecure with some issues in your relationship.
Give it some time, dont mention relationship status for a while. You can make a decision later if you want to stay in the relationship or not.
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