A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Can anyone tell me is there such a thing as addiction to dating,chat or adult sex sites? I will be leaving my wife tonight after finding yet another active profile of hers. This has been happening for around 4 years. Countless break ups,she always wants me back,but refuses to admit its her,even after coming home early and catching her cyber sexing said its just popped up,its either or pop up or I am setting her up. Becomes aggressive,I`m paranoid,I make allegations because its me who wants out. Her refusal to speak or stop telling lies means I cant sort why? Claims she loves me,tells everyone the same. Never argued over anything but this. I have looked back and its been hell. I am never going back. Again she will tell her family and others that I have walked out and believes there is someone else. She will refuse to acknowledge the reason I left and always says the same shit,"why would I risk losing someone I am in love with"? I am paranoid and need help.Is this some weird addiction? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): Well, that isn't a habit, it's a choice, and that looks like they are hell bent on cheating. And OP and also the anonymous male... W. T. F.!!!? You weren't actually having sex with her were you? You have been checked? Did she ever threaten you with her intentions to sleep with other guys (or couples) if you argued, taunt you? Or turn it around to believe it was your doing? You do realise you may need help now? She isnt addicted to anything but sex, she is either very loose, may have even met several men at once. She may even be ill or evil. I would see someone yourself or end up treating your next like she treated you.You have suffered emotional abuse. Confused chic, you shouldnt be getting used to that at such a young age.You do know what to do! escape before you end up like the guys on here. Why people tolerate it for so long escapes my understanding?
A
female
reader, tcm  +, writes (30 January 2011):
If you see dearcupid every day it does look rather addictive. What I cant understand,not being in this myself,I know, but why does it take so long to get up and go? Does it not tell you exactly who they are after the 2nd time? Love isnt blind when you see it with your own eyes. I do believe there isnt any real love when that is done again and again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): Well,I have been through it a similar if not identical turbulant few years.The only thing wierd was it was like 2 people,and I really dont know if she really thought she hadnt been in them. I was baffled that she cried,seemed to go through a bad time,i went back and months later only to find she had never even stoppeed. Everythin else about her was perfect. Out of 100 arguments maybe 2 were over something else. Fortunately I discovered the cheat fix she needed,found stuff she doesnt think I know. Saved by the illicitencounters from a life of torment lets say. It was more embarrassing when my brothers mate was on them,saw her and started winding her up and then told him over a drink that his future sister in law is a ****. It caused a fight. Now something like that made everyone else realise i wasnt full of shit after all.Even my own son told me to stop thinkin crazy shit,"she loves you to death". So be assured,u aint the only one. Addiction to the sites,sex texting,ads and so on naaaaah,the bottom line is cheating and a dirty secret to buzz off,or as she said to my brothers no longer mate, meet up for some crazy sex never to be forgotten. The one i never come to terms with was a site for married people who cheat,couldnt quite see any good in her heart,I dont check or look anymore,though Its likely the married one is her most loved as it seemed to revolve around sleazy sex or fun as she called it. Always used sex on her profiles as bait. Wasnt fun for me at that time. I still ask,if they genuinely loved someone would they still do it? Probably yes. Dont go back,you have a chance to make your life a better one.How could anyone ever be with that for life? Stay away from her mate,believe me it aint ever goin away.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): Look if she has done that then she has done sex while ur at work and dating sites don't make sluts they want to be what the y are
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): Dating sites dont cheat,its the bad choice of partner that does that,its there for singles,dont hate the net,hate the cheat and get out there because there are people who wont cheat,could say its a good trap for seeking out the lousy partners sooner rather than later. If you went back time after time,then to her you are there again,and what message is it giving out? She is the cheat,not the dating sites. I hope you have the sense to have learned this time.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): As some throw away a relationship,its weird,but these chat rooms,sext texts etc are merely a causeway,its the cheatin that theyre keepin the net is used for meetin,they always end up weepin but still they cant stop cheatin. No,without the internet,they will find another way to do it. the net is the new local paper personal ad.
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A
female
reader, oneconfusedchick22  +, writes (30 January 2011):
Were almost in the same exact boat. Im 20 years old and Ive been dating someone for 9 months until last week. I caught him talking to women on facebook craigslist and saw he had a profile on some adult sites and dating sites. I don't get it. He sits there and says I love you, but he does this behind my back and sometimes he will admit to it and sometimes he won't. I honestly do think it is an obsession. I kind of think that they like being online doing whatever because it excites them and also with the internet, you can pretend to be whoever you want. I don't know what to do with my situation either, but its nice to know that other people are having this problem to. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. If she loves you that much she should try and work something out with you. Best luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 January 2011):
It probably is a weird addiction. Cheating for some people is an addiction (read some of the posts on this site). However, even an addiction starts as a choice at some point. Whether you choose to take drugs, choose to drink or choose to sign up to adult chat sites and cheat.
By the sounds of it, your wife is pretty addicted. But she won't come clean or get help. Therefore, you can get to leave. As for her telling people you left and there's someone else, only her friends and family will know. No one who matters will, and if anyone asks, just tell them the truth about her.
Absolutely get away from her.
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