A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok, well like new ppl im not sure how to start off. But im 17 and bi, recently i jus told one of my closest male friend that i liked him, i felt that he was that way because we were pretty much close and would tell me personal things and that he would grab my waist, put his arms around me, and once told me i was "cute looking"...but then again he has had plenty of girlfriendz (but they wouldnt last)...i told him "straight out" over a message. (to scared)that i liked him... but anyways he just said that he wasnt like that and the next day at skewl i totally ignored him the whole day cuz i was freaking out that i didnt want to c the reaction on his face when he saw me...but turns out that he didnt mind and was willing to talk to me so know i have destroyed a good friendship and know we dnt talk to each other anymore. My question was: is there still a chance that we can be friends again? if so pleeze! tell me how to do that!.PS. did i mention that weve been friends ever sence 3rd grade and were gonna seniors nw. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i have to say that those were both amazing answers and that i jus wanted to say thank you with the help and ill be sure to talk it out with him...thx with lots of luv lol :)
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (18 July 2009):
 its up to you to talk to him as he hasn't had a problem, the person who's behaviour changed was you but he has gone along with it and as a result the one who can mend this friendship is you. you haven't destroyed anything and if the friendship was a friendship it can be mended. relationships with others are never perfect as anyone who has seen a friendship crumble will testify to that. this sounds to me like your embarrassed and he doesn't understand whats going on as you have been ignoring him.
go and talk to him and smooth things out, but rather than mentioning about what happened just have a normal conversation and in time this will be gone from your mind.
he sounds like a very flirty tease who likes to arouse people to feel good about himself. learn to distinguish when someone is using your attention to make themself feel loved from when their attention is love towards you. i have been there with flirty male teases and they only do themselves favours. also they are used to knocking advances back so its no big deal to them.
the way he was behaving would have anyone confused, friends dont do THOSE sort of things-its oversteping the boundaries and not really fair if its not backed up by real feelings. look at the situation it has created unfairly for you and see if you want that to continue being played for attention or you want to keep things platonic. it will never be both
take care
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): I don't think you have anything to worry about. If he's not annoyed with you, the only thing that could ruin your friendship now is you trying it on again after he's told you he's not interested.
It does sound like he was flirting with you, but unfortunately many of us engage in this behaviour without even realising. If he *is* attracted to you, maybe he's not ready to "come out" yet, so either way you need to give him some breathing room.
If you don't want to face him yet, send him a text or an email just asking how he is and ease yourself back into chatting to him. That way when you do see him face-to-face it won't be so awkward.
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