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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Heya,I'm actually a little embarressed to put this up on here but...I'm 18 years old, I am a female, but I am still a virgin :/ I also havent been in a relationship with a guy before, which is actually my bigger problem... I only had my first kiss a few months ago, and that was with an (ex) friend. I think he pittied me a bit to be honest. I'm not sure what I need to do, I suppose its good that I know my flaws... I'm very quiet, I'm shy, I'm not very confident, I do have quite a lot of a "past" which I suppose would count as "baggage", and I have a LOT of self esteem issues. I dont know how I can get over any of this... but a possitive part of me is that once you get to know me I'm as my friends would say "awesome". I feel like I've been left behind a bit, because I attended an all girls school, then I started sixth form a year later due to certain circumstances, so I feel like I've been left behind, I'm not sure what to do... any advice would be greatly appreciated :)
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self esteem, shy, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, hopelessdistance  +, writes (1 August 2011):
Don't let anyone make you feel pressured to lose your virginity, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Sex can be great, but having it at the right time with the right person can make a world of difference.
As for your self-esteem, you can start by treating yourself better, eat healthier, treat yourself to something special, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you're spectacularly beautiful bwith a smile/b. Then you can join something social, something you have an interest in, and meet other people.
And if your "Baggage" offends them and pushes them away, then they were not friends worth having in the first place.
A
female
reader, lonelygirl11  +, writes (1 August 2011):
Dont worry im the same i am 25 nearly 26 never had a bf or relationship i not even had my first kiss yet. I very very quiet and have no self esteem or self confidence. I also have no friends at all and i am a total social recluse and never go on nights out i only leave house when i have to and to go work im here if u need to talk
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): There is nothing wrong with being a virgin, as it shows that you respect yourself to not just lose your virginity to just anyone and that you could be saving it for the right person. What about the many people who choose to remain virigns until they get married? many guys respect girls a lot more if they don't have an 'extreme' sexual history. You may also regret it yourself too if you sleep with someone just for the sake of sleeping with them. One way of getting over low self esteem is by looking at yourself each day in the mirror, or everytime you pass one and stop and say in your head or out loud "I am beautiful" or something else along the same lines even if you don't fully think it. Overtime you will gradually begin to feel more confident and begin to overcome self esteem problems by believing what you say. Or you could pick one feature about yourself that you do like, for example your hair or eyes and exaggerate on that, such as doing some cute hair or make up styles to help draw attention to the parts you like. Though there is more to someone other than external beauty so as long as your friends think you are 'awesome' then thats what really matters right? :) Just try to stay positive. I'm sure you will find a guy who will like you~ Just remember to smile a lot as a smile can go a long way, and stand up straight with your head up. maybe give a cute guy a compliment? Good Luck :)
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