A
female
age
30-35,
*at-lard-1
writes:I have never ever had a boyfriend. I say it is because I am fat and ugly, but all my other friends say it is because nobody is interested in my yet. Is there somethng wrong with me? Is there something wrong with boys not wanting to date fat girls? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): the point people are making is not that you are too young to date. its that you are only 13-15 years old. so to say you have "never ever" had a boyfriend is silly. its not like you've been trying to find a boyfriend for 40 years and nobody will go out with you. you have a lot of time for dating so dont be so dramatic about it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): not at all,it not make sence that boys not interestedin fat girls, the reason is only, that madia capturing slim, andtight girls. ifis it? then it never be happen in agghanistan, and middle east. there all the men like very muchfatty women and girls. thats why they give them honey and butter to become fatty.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2007): Hello Lady Bug,
I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was older than you. I would cry and lament over my lonlieness. I would watch my friends who always had boyfriends with bitter envy. I was georgous! Just because you don't have a boyfriend does not mean something is wrong with you. You MUST change your attitude though because you have many years ahead of you and to say you are fat and ugly already is not a good start. Be your own best friend. Know that God loves you, and love yourself. It will take baby steps but you can do it. You are worthy to be loved. It isn't all about the looks believe it or not but remember most boys your age are very shallow. They date who their friends want them to date. You may be saving yourself from some heartache being alone for a while until you strengthen your self esteem. If you hate yourself you will attract an abuser. Start with you okay?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007): Don't worry. Fat isn't ugly and boys do LOVE curvey women. Your biggest tool as a girl is your personality. Be confident about the way you look and the guys that matter will notice you for it.
...............................
A
female
reader, fat-lard-1 +, writes (4 February 2007):
fat-lard-1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni had a boyfriend last year for 6 days and he said he only went out with me because he felt sorry for me because i had no friends. i had friends, he didn't have friends. and i am not 2 young 2 date. all of my friends have boyfriends, so.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2007): Hey Sweetie!
Im sure there is nothing wrong with you!...
I bet its boys just being immature and greedy...
Im 14 and I have a boyfriend at the moment, i am not exactly skinny but he loves me just the same.
he is alot maturer than alot of other boys i know and im sure someone like him will find you too.
If you feel fat then try and exercise atleast twice a week for an hour and eat healthily and the pounds will soon drop off of you!
i was a size 16 last year but i ate healthily and am now sown to a nice size 8-10!
And remember boys LOVE curvey women!!! ;-)
so honey dont worry about it at all okay!
A.S x
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (3 February 2007):
 The only thing wrong with you is you have no confidence in yourself. Yes, guys look firstly to see what you look like but the personality of a person is far more important than what's on the outside. You come across as shy and very insecure about yourself and guys will pick up on that. They like women who are bright and bubbly, confident and assertive and happy with who they are. That is much more attractive to them than being super slim.
If you feel fat and ugly, try to do something about it. Why don't you put on some exercise videos and tell yourself you're going to exercise 3 times a week. Watch what you eat and be more aware of what you put into your body. Just cut out the fat and the junk and exercise regularly and you'll be absolutely fine. We always see ourselves very differently from the way others see us, besides lots of boys don't like a skinny woman, they prefer a woman with curves. You are very young yet love and your body won't be fully mature yet so just concentrate on eating well and leaving out the junk and build up your confidence and self esteem.
13-15 years old IS still very young to start going out and having boyfriends anyway so your friend is right there. It will all happen in good time. Here's a link to look at that will help you regain some confidence. You are a wonderful person... you just need to tell yourself that and believe it!
http://pickbrains.com/how-do-i-build-up-my-confidence
Believe in yourself! ;o)
Eve
...............................
A
female
reader, TygersDream  +, writes (3 February 2007):
 Judging by your post, You are harder on yourself than anybody else. WHY?
My best friend is Fat. She's not ugly, but she's not hella beautiful either. She has a keg for a stomach, she has told me her breasts would probably reach her knees if she didn't wear a bra and her arms have been described as ham hocks.
Do YOU think she's alone and unloved? Do you imagine some obese piece of white-trash?
You would be wrong.
I've known her for 10 years, and throughout that time she has only felt bad for herself 2 times. SHe has a courageous, adventurous spirit. She's vibrant and viviacious. She LOVES her shoe collection, she loves to eat, she loves her makeup, she loves her Vogue magazines. She loves to buy her friends things, she loves life. She's fat but she's gorgeous and everybody wants to be friends with her.
She never had a boyfriend until she finished university and left for Australia, where she met the current love of her life.
She was 23 when she had her FIRST boyfriend.
They have been going out for 3 years now. She's still fat, but her boyfriend is HANDSOME and CUTE and ADORABLE. He is the greatest gentleman I have ever met, I LOVE hearing his voice on the phone, he reminds me of Orlando Bloom (except a bit edgier).
So don't tell me people don't like you because you're fat and ugly. Yeah, you're going to find a lot of abuse if you ARE. Think about what you can do about it - visit www.ivillage.co.uk for tips on exercise and fitness. FIRST of all though, check your BMI. DON"T ever try to starve yourself and don't try any of those diets out there, i don't care what Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston do, ok?
You are only 13-15 years old, if you start starving yourself, you are not giving yourself or your body the chance to become its full potential.
And last of all:
Life is unpredictable, but you can't judge your own according to someone else's. I don't care if your best friend has had 3 boyfriends already, it doesn't make you any less normal or her any more wierd.
You have to ask yourself if a certain guy you're crushing on IS worth it. If you were Miss World, would YOU give him the time of day? Is he GOOD ENOUGH for YOU?
If you just want the attention, then acting all kooky or needy will just make you look desperate.
If a certain guy you're crushing on isn't giving you the time of day, then he never will, no matter how much attention you give him. He might even like you LESS if you try harder to make him like you.
Ok, and REALLY REALLY final point: Having or NOT having guys drool all over you or asking you for a date DOES NOT DEFINE YOU. YOU ARE DEFINED by YOU.
...............................
A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (3 February 2007):
 at 13-15 years old, its not surprising you have never had a boyfriend. its not like your 65 and have never had one! :P Don't worry about it so much. to be honest at your age, you really dont want a boyfriend. dating can be complicated and painful at times. especially when the boys in question are in your age group. you should just enjoy being young and not having stress or responsibilities. i promise you you will have a boyfriend one day so dont worry about it and just live your life day to day. xxx
...............................
|
