A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has a best friend that is female. Which is fine with me, my best friend is male. Heres the thing.They dated about 8 years ago and now are best friends. When me and him first met(not knowing we would be together) he sad if there was anyone that he could have a relationship with,it would be her. She lives in a diffrent state as us, has a boyfriend and child. they talk eeeeevery day and call each other baby.He sends her texts telling her hi boo, or hi baby, have a nice day beautiful. All the things he SHOULD be sending me.He even said that if me and him were not together he would want to be with her because she's the only one that knows him so well. He a song that reminds him of her. in the song it basically talks about *I wonder if you still think of me,and how would things be now if we stayed together,and i hope your happy with your new man but basicially i still have feelings for you* And he has set that to her ring tone when she calls.He never answers the phone when she calls and im right there. He did tell her about me when we started dating and wanted me to talk to her but I think they are hiding how they really feel about each other. When they are on the phone they sound as if "they" are the ones in a relationship. What do you guys think?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jaime90  +, writes (29 October 2008):
 Well good on your for having such will power! You sound like a strong woman who knows when she is not getting treated right so good for you. You deserve to be number one to your man.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you ladies! I knew i wasn't crazy and this didnt seem right. I've been wanting to break the is relationship off for a while so this will be quite easy for me. I have talked to him numerous times and he just says "thats my bestfriend" "she lives all the way in atlanta" "I haven't seen her in 6 years" I'm like so! He basically is putting me 2nd this woman so I told him its over and he needs to try to be with her or some other random B*&%$ because i'm not standing for it and i deserve better. Whew, I'm so glad to finally get over this relationship. Thank you ladies. I've wondering this whole time if it was just me but am glad to know it doesn't seem right to others too!
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A
female
reader, jaime90 +, writes (28 October 2008):
Wow that must be really hard. Have you spoken to him about it? I dont think thats normal at all, because you are saying he still has feelings for her and he would want to be with her. It must be very hurtful for you. You seem to be handling this well, i would be furios! The things they say to eah other does sound as though they are in a relationship. You really need to talk to him about what he wants and if he is going to change this. You cant live with him behaving like that, its not fair. He needs to be completely devoted to you and he should consider your feelings.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): If i were you i wouldnt stand for that.Leave him !.He is so inconsiderate !.You deserve beter.
Dont forget,YOU need to be number 1 in your boyfriend's life.
If you find it too difficult to leave him,perhaps you could tell him how this makes you feel,and only stay with him if he changes,although,sadly,some people never change the way they are.Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
I was in a similar situation,although it was slightly different.I liked someone who said he liked me but couldnt get over his ex,and didnt like himself as a person,so he thought i deserved better and said he just wanted us to be friends for now.I'm not sure what is going to happen with that.So,it was similar in that another person was involved in a way.
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