A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I need some help because I'm so confused, heartbroken and I feel as though I'm falling apart. Last week my boyfriend of 3 1/2 yrs told me he needs "space, can't be in a relationship, doesn't want a commitment" I took this as a really big blow because it just came out of nowhere. Please understand that we're 20 y/o, I know we're young.He's been attending a school 2 hrs away for 6 months and has another 5 months to go. On top of this he's been working full time and on most days off he takes the drive to come see me. Yes it is true since he's left we've been "arguing" a little more then usual but I figured its because of the distance. He told me he didn't meet anyone else and that he's still "so in love with me" just that he's overlly stressed out between school and work that he can't handle the stress the relationship is putting on him right now. This seems understandable but this is where it gets tricky...he still calls me everyday to talk just like we used to, he's still coming down this weekend to go out for "valentines day" the only difference is now we're not saying I love you or leaving little text messages to each other. This has me on an emotional rollercoaster! I mean does he want his cake and eat it too? He still wants me around but wants the "ok" to do his dirty work. I don't get it. I feel trapped - one day missing him the next mad for what he's doing. I love him so much, I know he loves me...I think he's confused, stressed out and just needs time. Yesterday I stopped picking up his phone calls ..I think I may continue this until this weekend when he comes home...I know it sounds selfish but I just don't know what to do. Why is this happening. Everything reminds me of him. Everyone reminds me of him. My heart hurts I cry all the time... I try to get out with my friends but all my friends are "our" friends and it just fuels the pain. Is there hope for our relationship. Am I just lost? Please help.
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female
reader, cd206  +, writes (15 February 2007):
 You could try telling him that you don't want sex with him until you're back in a relationship since it's making you love him again and you're trying to supress those feelings. To be honest it does sound a little like he can't be bothered to do the relationship thing but still needs the sex. All that remains is for you to decide if you're willing for that to happen.
CD
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