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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend ("Dee") and I have been together for over a year. We recently decided to take a break. We told each other we'd remain faithful, we just need to fix our problems. I have this thing where I always ask Dee if he checks out other girls and stuff like that. He gets really annoyed by it because I ask him the same questions a couple times a day. I do trust him. But I swear I see him looking at other ladies. It really brings me down when I see it. He tells me it's all in my head and that I'm just thinking all these negative thoughts. I don't know what to do. I need to change but I don't know how. I really love him and want him back and I need to improve. Please help me out!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): I have the same worries with my boyfriend so I can understand where you're coming from... he does nothing to stop me trusting him but I can't help feeling a sinking feeling quite often when he innocently talks to girls, and I haven't a clue why! I seem to get so stressed out about it, though he's the same about me. Ask yourself if you had a past experience that caused you to feel insecure about your relationship, or perhaps you just need something to boost your self confidence so you realise there's no way he'd be interested in anyone but you. Tell yourself how amazing you look and get your boyfriend to do the same frequently. Reassure your bf that you do trust him and ask him to help you keep calm about other women, like perhaps if you feel yourself worrying ask him for a hug to take your mind off it. Just above all let him know its not his fault or it might continue to push him away. If you get any other ideas of how to stop being jealous I'd love to know, to stop me being so worried all the time!
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (15 February 2007):
 It's not in your head. All guys look at other ladies, just like all ladies look at other guys. It's natural. It doesn't mean anything. It just means we're appreciating that someone is attractive. This doesn't mean you love your partner any less. What your boyfriend is doing is really no different to you drooling over Brad Pitt or Orlando Bloom or whoever your favourite eye candy of the moment is. When you get back together try trusting him. He hasn't given you any reason not to after all.
CD
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