A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm wondering if I am beginning to notice a slight pattern in the type of guys I fancy, or "really fall for" it always happens when I am away somewhere, I seem to really get curious when people have different backgrounds. I always seem to " meet people" when I'm discovering somewhere new. But the only two guys I have had a relationship with are local guys, and they lasted a few years each. But I was always pursued, and didn't really fancy them, I just thought I should give this a go, he has tried for years.I've now been single for about 1.5/2 years, and had 2 one nighters. But just not enthusiastic for a relationship. The only guy I am currently interested in, is a guy I know I will never be able to have. Well simply because we have been in contact for 6 years or something now and never done anything substantial. Just randomly met up for a couple of hours here and there whenever we are in town. Mainly his doing, I say no most of the time, because its always on his terms. But alas we are still in contact. I just wonder if there is anything I can do to stop this. Maybe its because I live in a big city - London and no one has time for commitment.. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Moinonplus.
With that specific guy, I have tried.. I've said to meeting somewhere in the middle, and we go to plan it, then he pulls out with some work reason.
I've ignored him for months, I've told him I'm not interested unless he follows through and doesn't keep cancelling.
He once admitted he was seeing someone but now single, if he wants to go on a normal date, I would, but he's just always stubborn and demanding.
I respond just to humour myself sometimes, but somewhere deep down I guess I hope he just meets up and does something fun.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI totally agree ! I am always out and about with friends and their colleagues etc. And I'm sure if I persist and keep it up, I'll meet someone I like too !
But going out drinking/socialising, often gets the better of me! My routine of hobbies and reading and working hard, get put aside out of tiredness, once I've partied too hard once again .. then I'm annoyed with myself for having that one last shot. haha.
I think I might start by making a list of what I want in a guy. Whats important, and how I'll go about finding it out. That might help me to focus!
Just always seems the guys I like are the ones that its not possible with, and the guys that like me are, well I have no chemistry with.. they'll be such nice nice guys, adorable, but there is always a "but" too short .. too predictable.. too needy, too something.
I'm in no rush to find someone, but just wondering if there was something I need to look closer at to avoid liking guys that make it impossible to date. Or if its just my situations.
Like you say, try looking closer to home !!
Thanks Annalisa!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): Are his terms inconvenient? Is it a matter of pride? Why not say yes next time he wants to meet up, or find time to visit his town?
I don't think it's that no one has time for commitment, but that the ones who do are already in commitments... ;)
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