A
female
age
26-29,
*zzygurl
writes:Hi everyoneI'm 17 and have never really had a real boyfriend, boys tell me I'm pretty, sexy, gorgeous, beautiful, cute... They've called me everything you can imagine, but I'm still single. I've never been inlove, I just wanna know how it's feels like to love someone. I see cute couples everywhere I go and they just look so happy. My 14 year old sister has a boyfriend, and she seems so happy with him. I have a great personality, I'm nice, caring, and smart. But I don't know why it's this way for me. I've had one boyfriend but i broke up with him because i wasn't inlove with him. Guys ask me out sometimes, I don't like them because they smoke weed or wanna be a rapper. I'm not the picky type but it's not my thing. I just want a responsible guy that has a plan for the future or a nerd like me...lol pls I need your help, is there anything I can change? Thanks:-)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (20 July 2012):
Dear OP, I think most of us old aunts and uncles if we were honest would tell you that you are not missing a thing. When young love quickly gets bored and changes to resentment and heartache, you only have to read other posts to see how many young people end up messed up and not yet 20. Young guys mature less quickly than girls and you risk getting used by older guys. Try to avoid that. Like everything the longer you wait the better you will enjoy the rewards. Work on being proud of yourself, concentrate on getting to a good school and you will discover a new world full of people like yourself. And I think you will have a good chance of bumping into the love you are looking for.
A
female
reader, NoSCreen  +, writes (20 July 2012):
You don't have to change anything, don't be in such a rush you are still quite young! enjoy time with friends and it will happen naturally.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): "I just want a responsible guy that has a plan for the future or a nerd like me...lol pls I need your help, is there anything I can change?"
Agree with So Very Confused: There's nothing you can change because there's nothing you should change.
Will add that girls mature earlier than guys, very few guys your age are responsible or thinking about the future, primary motivations are hormones and peer pressure, you are single because you're too smart to let guys lure you into bed with fawning compliments and they're too dumb for you to be otherwise interested.
Will also add that very few 40-year-olds share your level-headedness, self-awareness, insight, perception, and ability to envision a future beyond current life stage and circumstances.
To use pending London Olympics as analogy, I liken you to two past female swimming champions who as teenagers set multiple World Records that stood for almost two decades, a phenomenal achievement in a sport where WRs rarely survive a four-year Olympic cycle. They were so far ahead of the rest of the world that it took the world nearly twenty years to catch up. But when the world did catch up, many swimmers suddenly able to routinely surpasse once-WR times in any given race.
All you can do is follow their lead, bear the burden of being exceptionally advanced for your age, and wait for your peers to catch up in droves, which should start to happen be in two or three years (which seems like twenty to a teenager, but will pass quicker than you think).
NEVER compromise or lower your standards, NO guy is ever worth it. You can never regret being true to yourself, you will always regret following the crowd.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): I think you should just be patient.
On a side note, I also think you shouldn't be talking about the future just now. Go out with people, have fun, it will help you learn what you like in a relationship. I'm not saying you should go out with guys you're not attracted to, but you should not be asking yourself if he is husband potential before you even went on a first date.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (19 July 2012):
 izzygurl,
I'd like to post an opposing point of view.
Relationships don't "just happen". You have to at least put up the open sign before people will visit your store. I'm not saying that you need to be loose or provocative. I'm saying you need to be involved, active, and inviting.
You seem to also have the problem of attracting the wrong sort of guy. That could mean that you aren't involved with the right group. It has been my experience that drug users don't join service clubs. Guys who have an idea where they want to go in life do. If your school has Key Club or academic decathlon I highly recommend those.
I agree with the others that you shouldn't need to change yourself. Just change your approach. Be actively engaged in presenting the right image to the right people. I also agree that you shouldn't rush into or rush an existing relationship just so you can say you have a boyfriend or to fill out your "score" card.
I also agree wholeheartedly that the best path to being a good girlfriend is to learn to be a good friend first.
Be generous with your smiles. Look people in the eye. Have a firm handshake. Be genuine.
FA
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A
female
reader, 747Devyn +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Whatever you do, do not settle. Make sure the potential bf respects you, loves you for who you are, and is not hung up on any exes.
Devyn
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 July 2012):
I also think don't change. You need a guy to like you as you are, not as someone else. You sound like a great girl, so hang in there and the right guy will come along. He'll be on time, just not your time. And he'll most likely come when you least expect it, so maybe relax more and just take things as they come rather than worry about something that will inevitably happen anyway.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Do not change. Be yourself.
Be patient... the right guy will come along... do not settle.
I know you think at 17 you should experience love... but you have time...
you have a good head on your shoulders and know what you want...
don't rush it... I know that's not what you want to hear...
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