A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my current boyfriend for a year and a half and I'm having recurring dreams about my ex (who happens to be my first love) for the last few months. We were together for 3.5 years and it officially ended about two days before my current guy and I started dating. Before you all get judgmental, my ex was an abusive ass who put me in the hospital on more than one occasion and cut at my self-esteem so much that I felt I wasn't worthy for even the scum under a shoe. (Overall, he wasn't too popular in high school because he WAS an ass.) By the end of our relationship, I absolutely hated him and he hated me but loved knowing that he could somehow control me still. However, the guy I'm with now had to pick up the pieces and I'm starting to feel human again because of him.But anyway, usually in these dreams, I'm trying to run away from my ex but he always seems to know where I hide. We never get physical or anything, he always just wants to talk. In these dreams, he can be calm but I'm still in fear of him. He always makes it seem like he knows everything about me and that we were together long enough for him to know the ins and outs of my thoughts. Seriously, he annoys the shit out of me when he talks to me like that (because he used to talk to me like that ALL the time). He was condescending, belittling, and just an all around ass but he was always "calm" and used that as an excuse to make ME look like the crazy one.I would "always" raise my voice. However, what bothers me the most is that sometimes, I'm comforted by these dreams.I don't know if it's because we WERE together for that long or because I didn't have time to be single, I just know that I shouldn't be having these dreams about my ex. And I sure as hell shouldn't be comforted by them! A little more information is that we hadn't see each other at all for just over a year and hadn't talked to each other in about 10.5 months and then we both attended a mutual friend's funeral and it felt like closure at the time because he said something to me but I said nothing back. That was back at the beginning of July; we haven't seen or spoken to each other since. These dreams pretty much started happening after this funeral and and because I knew he was going to be at the funeral, I had one dream about him prior to the funeral. But, is there any way that I could make these dreams stop? They're really starting to both me and I'm afraid that I'll start dreaming even worse things like sex with my ex, which THANK GOD, hasn't happened.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2011): Dreams can sometimes be the way the subconsciences way of put all your unanswered questions to rest, even if they dont make scence. Sometimes its to remind you what you had or what you wished had happened.
Dont read to much into them and once you accept them as just dreams i think your dreams about the ex will stop being regular occurances.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 November 2011):
 Your dreams are your minds way of remembering your ex and the past that you shared. There is no way of stopping your mind from over running while you are asleep. Just try and not let them effect your new relationship or the progress you have made so far. Just put the dreams to the back of your mind and try and not think about them to much or else it will start effecting you, the less you think about them the more chance they have off stopping.
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