A
female
age
36-40,
*lashesOfQuincy
writes:I'm a 26 year old female, and I've never had a boyfriend. I've barely been on a date! I've had guys interested in me, but usually I'm never interested in them. There are only 2 guys that I regret dismissing before we really started anything, and now one is married and the other has been in a serious relationship for a few years.One of my biggest problems is I like my alone time. A lot. So anytime I remotely can see being in a relationship with a guy, I seem to turn them off rather quickly because I don't want to see or hear from them much. Once I'm comfortable with the guy, I wouldn't have such a problem, but I never seem to be able to get to that point. Is there any way I can keep the space I love and keep a guy interested?
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female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Maybe you just haven't yet met a guy who you want to see and hear from more often? You're young, you don't need to harness yourself to anyone. When you meet someone you want to talk to all the time, then you will do it. Give it time, you just need to meet the right person.
A
female
reader, elisa_lee +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Just find a guy who likes alone time, or "away time" as much as you do. A lot of guys like to be smothered more than they will admit or say, but there certainly are some who understand and feel mutually about the need for healthy space. If you find yourself preferring a man who doesn't share this in common with you, just be honest about it, assure them you care and do little "extra" things to show it.
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A
female
reader, SweetindianGirl +, writes (27 September 2010):
i am just like you except i always wanted someone in my space w/o really wanting them in my space i know it sounds weird but i would lve to be home andspend hours on th ephone....but i lik to do my own thing by nO means do i go out and get drunk, i am homely i like my environment its been my safe zone for a very long time, i think the best thign for yout o do is outfront let it be known to the guy and see what goes on! make sure you tell them look i do like you this is how i work and iw ill get to that point just be patient...!
th eonly peroblm i can see is when u get comfortable and open up to a guy liek that they ysually run away...thats what happened to me.
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A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (27 September 2010):
Guys are used to working their asses off trying to figure out what's going on in a woman's mind and really not getting anywhere. Being remote and aloof and wanting to be alone is usually going to come across as you trying to signal that you are not interested.The good news is, it is very easy to give a much stronger signal. You just have to be direct. You can just tell a guy something like "I like you, and I want to spend time with you, just not a LOT of time, because I like to be alone a lot." He will probably love you for not playing mind games. Most girls, in my experience, will very rarely tell a guy directly "I like you" unless they are on their way to boyfriend-and-girlfriend-hood. Maybe they feel like they need to be chased, or whatever. (I have no idea, because I'm a guy.) But you, being different, might have to take that bold step and just spell it out for someone. So that they don't take a guess and assume you're not interested.
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A
female
reader, BeautifulCapricorn +, writes (27 September 2010):
you know what girl, that is something that you will have to work really hard on because when a guy is interested in you, he will want to spend as much time as he can with you. You, not wanting them around because of "alone time" is going to drive every guy away because that will make them think that you are not interested. And honestly who would want to be with someone who do not want them around?
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