A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:sp im at uni in london living with my boyfriend and another couple who were once good friends to us. They have become un-friends because things just change when you live together. We have had arguments throughout the year on pulling weight and how its not fair that me and my boyfriend do alot then the other two make excuses 'oooo cant do this have too much work to do' ect but normally after we have had an argument they start to pull their weight again. so its coming to the end of the academic year and they are moving out next year as me and my boyfriend want to live alone. we've all had alot of work to do, so the couple have been doing their work and so have me and my boyfriend. me and my boyfriend have tried to take on most of the house work in the past few weeks because we know they've had a lot of work to do and its considerate, now the other couple have finished all their work and are living here for one extra week and me and my boyfriend have lots of work to do including exams. today i have come home from a revision class to find the dishwasher hasn't been emptied and the girl has been in all day doing nothing, why is she doing this, as well as this i have to endure hearing their loud music and speaking while i am trying to do revision. i just dont think its fair that i was considerate when they were doing work and they arent being considerate to me by helping out and being more quiet. what can i do? do you think theres any point me saying anything as they are moving out in a week and i most likely wont ever speak to them again??xxx
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 May 2011):
 Oh yeah, buy yourself earplugs. That way you wont hear them. My landlord has kids, and I sleep with earplugs or hearing protection in the morning. Works wonders.
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (17 May 2011):
No, no point. You also need to loosen up, sorry. The dishwasher wasn't emptied? Imagine if you lived with some of the people I've seen around, who just put the dirty dishes with food and all in the sink and let it build up. Or don't take out the trash and it starts to smell. My boyfriend shares a house with his friends and they had this one new guy who recently got kicked out because he didn't pay his rent, but omg the things he did. He'd use other peoples towels! He didn't even clean his own towel for 6 months, and then he put it to get washed but didn't wash it, so used other peoples towels! And ate their food, he'd just go and steal the food from the fridge! And so on. And here you are complaining about a luxury problem about the dishwasher. You have a dishwasher!!Sorry, Im guessing there's probably a zillion other things you find annoying about your room-mates. But this is what you get when you live with someone, people are different and you are likely to not find many people who share your exact idea of how clean things should be or how things should be done. If you live with someone this is what you get, you need to be able to deal with this, or else you aren't fit to share an apartment with anyone other than perhaps your boyfriend. I don't want to share with other people unless I know them well, because I am tired of having people use my plates, silver ware, glasses, and LEAVE them on the table, dirty, for me to clean. Or better yet take my frying pan and ruin it. Or better yet, steal my spoons... I lost all my tea spoons in the last place. Funny that. And a bread knife that I got as a gift. People also left food to rot in the fridge. Great. Whopafriggin do. But that's what you get when you share a place with other people! If you can't live with that, or adjust to it, then don't do it. But no complaining once you decided to do it, because now you know that clean dishes in the dishwasher, and some loud music, is the least you could be bothered with. Consider yourself lucky. And just don't invite someone to live with you and your boyfriend again. It's not for you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (17 May 2011):
 I'd take out the dishes you need from the dishwasher and leave the rest. I'd ask them to turn down the music or use headphones while you are doing your revision. I wouldn't bother telling them off, it's pretty clear the relationship has broken down and they aren't interested in what you have to say. Just go on about your business, buy noise-cancelling headphones if you need to have it quiet and be thankful they'll be out of your life shortly. No point in an argument now, is there? It's over and done with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2011): they're not doing this to anger and frustrate you. different people have different ways of living. obviously the other couple is comfortable living the way they live and you and your boyfriend are comfortable with the way you live. difference in lifestyle. one is not right nor wrong. but one thing is for certain: you are not compatible housemates.in my opinion, i wouldn't say anything. i don't really see much point in it since they're leaving and you won't speak to them again. no sense in hurting feelings. also, lesson learned. choose your housemates wisely.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 May 2011):
 No. No point at all.You can say of course, hey guys, keep the noise down, I am studying here . But save the speech aboung being considerate and pulling their weight. If you haven't convinced them in a year !...
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