A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:First let me say, thank you all for reading this and helping me out the best you can.Here is the situation I am facing:My ex fiancee and I were together for almost 4 years. We have a child in common. He has lied and cheated on me quite a bit. I have lied to him, I am no angel.We split apart, because things just were not working. We both lived seperately. Him with his child and me with both of mine (including the one we share). At one point we decided to get back together, but soon found out that it was all a lie, he never stopped the other relationships he had going and was actually already living with another woman (this woman told me so when she was confronted).In all this time all I have ever wanted was for him to come home and be with me and work on the two of us and our family unit. For some reason, he still hasn't to this day and does not talk about his feelings to me, even though I have told him mine plenty of times. I have been offered a few dates and have refused those dates because I am just not ready to move on. I want to take this time to reflect on myself and make changes in me. I have had some health problems and I am getting those worked on as well.I get confusing signals from him, for the longest time he would tell me how much he missed me and needed me and wanted me (while still being with this other woman). I would beg for him to just come home, and my pleading has been ignored.We are very love/hate at this point. Recently he had a health scare and in the middle of the night he text me asking where I was asking for "his wife" as he always used to call me. He asked if i have lost interest in him and our life together. This broke my heart and i wanted like hell to run to his side, but how could I? His new GF was there. When she is around he is not nice to me, but when she is not around he talks to me with no trouble. I feel as though SHE is the one who is interfering in our reunion and it drives me insane. She is not a nice person and is not respectful of me. Someone please help me sort this out. I am wondering if he is now somehow trapped in the situation he created, or he just doesn't know what he wants...what do I do or say to assure him that I am still in love with him and want him more now than I ever did? Is there any hope here or am I just waiting (alone) and wasting my time? I have told him everything I still feel for him OVER AND OVER, but he will NOT tell me his feelings and lay it all out there on the line, I am wondering if that is because of HER, I am so confused about this whole thing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): When the children point at him and say who are you again?
I think he is a fool he is suing you to copensate for the areas the other woman can't reach as he cant be with you the answer is obvious.
say good -delete his number and block him - bye. Then go find someone worthwhile, who truley loves you.
Hugs Star.x.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your responses. A little update: Last night we had a conversation where again he tells me how much he loves me and that he wishes our past was not an issue, but it is. Then tells me yet again that he still loves me and the fact that we can't be together hurts him so very much. Can I just say....now its sounding like he is laying it on pretty damn thick, doesn't it? But why? He talks to me when he is alone and if I text him at the wrong time, he says he is not alone but will get back to me when he is. He hides what he says to me behind her back. we were in the middle of a conversation last night and he then tells me, she is there and wants to know if we can talk tomorrow instead. I agree to it. Would it be better to just break off all contact at this point? He doesn't even ask about his child, does not support the child, and does not want to follow the rules to see the child. OMG, you guys are making so much sense and while it kills me...he is NEVER going to change. His background is the same, he left his ex (whom he has another child with) and moved with me, and have come to find out that he has another child that he does not claim, but going by the birth date of that child, he got his ex and this other woman pregnant at the same time.
He moves woman to woman and fathering children that he has no intention of ever taking care of. At least he was smart this time, he got involved with several other women who all have their tubes tied. Oh and yes, I have been checked by a doctor because of all the cheating and I am clean (one blessing). Maybe its time to wake up and see what I have right in front of me...and STOP turning down the dates I am being offered to go on.
BIG QUESTION: Why is it that he gets to be happy and move on to someone new and leaves me with all these broken dreams, promises, heartache and confusion? Shouldn't he be the one suffering and not me? Will Karma ever catch up?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): He is just not into you enough to be with you. He has lots of cake and gets to eat it.What do you get ? nothing that i can see.
I would dump him, forget him and go find someone who really really loves you. One who you dont have to fight the GF for.
Star.x.
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