A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:First off, I have Social Phobia - i'm scared of people, I can't leave my house alone.Now, my partner's aunt's anniversary is coming up soon and they're having a big party for it, mainly punk music, you know. All his family and some of their friends are going.I can't go because of my Social Phobia, i'm terrified enough as it is, and nobody in his family knows about it so i'm worried they'll think i'm rude.I'm scared that when he's down there he'll fancy all these girls, and even his sister (who he said, when we were 17, a few years ago, that she had nice tits - i've never been able to forget that comment though he said it was a joke to shock his friends and he didn't mean it, so I worry when he's around her.I'm scared he'll get drunk and kiss another woman, or even worse, sleep with her. My illness leaves me very paranoiad and insecure and I know I can trust him to not cheat, it's just my mind playing tricks on me.How do I cope with this? He says he feels suffocated because I want him to be down there for as little time as possible but he's trying to be nice about it because he knows I can't help it.I'm just so scared he'll fancy someone else, find someone else attractive, kiss someone else, sleep with someone else etc and i'm scared his family will find me rude.Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's not as easy as that, I can't just go to the party, I can't even leave my house alone -_-.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): Go to the party.....i have social phobia too and i lost my girlfriend of 4 years because of it. I regret that i didn't have the courage. Go to the party, at least you'll get rid of your phobia and you'll make new friends.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell my Psychiatrist is setting me up for Emotion and Mindfullness Therapy (I think that's its name) Techniques to prepare me for going into the Anxiety Group, which is CBT orientated.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (30 April 2009):
 I think there are far bigger issues here than the family party. If your social phobia is not under control then attending the party will be agony, and worrying about this party distracts from the real issues in your life. You recognise that you have a significant problem with social interaction. The medication alone is not helping and therefore you need to see your psychiatrist to make a referral to a cognitive-behavioural therapist urgently. This is a highly effective treatment for social anxiety. You should not feel bad about your condition because it is a VERY common disorder (third most common mental disorder of adulthood). You are currently on a medication used to treat clinical depression (which co-occurs with social anxiety most of the time). Anti-depressants are helpful in the management of your condition but they are not the total and final answer. A recent trial shows cognitive behavioural therapy to be superior to antidepressants in the treatment of social anxiety. However, it may well be helpful for you to continue with your medication and add therapy on top. Forget the party, make an excuse that you are feeling 'ill' (frankly you are feeling ill so it is hardly a lie)...concentrate on getting better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, I am - i'm seeing a Psychiatrist and i'm on 20mg of Citalopram (an SSRI).
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