A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I of 4 years have been in turmoil for the past 3 months. We had gotten into a large fight back in Nov, things where said that wheren't meant. He said the most horrible thing a man could say to a woman he was to be in love with and to my surprise I smacked him in the face. I have NEVER done this before, and it scared me that I had. Anyways, after that we obviously broke it off. A couple weeks later we talked and I apoligized profusely and we missed each other and wanted to work on things so we started seeing each other. He said it would be a slow process and I was willing to go through that. I gave him his space, let him make the terms of when we saw each other and didn't push for anything. The last couple of weekends I have felt like he would rather be doing anything else but spend time with me, so I brought it up. He said he was feeling the same way so I asked if we should just call it quits. He said thats what he was thinking. Not that I wanted to, but I said ok. He told me since what had happened he couldn't get passed it. He told me that he loved me very much but was no longer in love with me. He told me that he wasn't seeing anyone and it would be a long time before he probably would. when I told him that I needed time to heal and that I would not be talking to him any time soon, if at all He actually got a little mad. Now I sit here brokenhearted. I guess what my question is, is there hope? The only thing I can think of that would change his love for me, is he is unwilling to forgive me and he is holding on to that. I am trying my best to stay "no contact" although I have cheated a little and looked at one of his networking pages. He had a statement on it that read "Life moves on even when you think it won't" I want him back but I don't want to hurt anymore. Please give me your advice..... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (1 February 2010):
 Regardless of what you want, it seems pretty apparent that he does not want to be in the relationship anymore. Take a good look at what was going on between you in the months prior to this blow up, and you may discover signs that you previously overlooked, that might have indicated he was pulling away little by little. It seems hard to believe that anyone could be so unforgiving over a simple slap. I think there's something much bigger going on here.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 February 2010):
Sorry girl, but this sounds like it's well and truly over. That's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth I'm afraid. You and he spent time apart, came back together and even after all that thinking, he decided that he just wasn't in love with you anymore. You now need to be brave and move on, which will take time. But you will get there if you focus on yourself for a while, have some fun with friends and fill your time.
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