A
female
age
30-35,
*_Mae93
writes:Rebound or what?I started dating this guy 3 weeks ago and he seems to really care about me he's been with me almost everyday for 2 weeks. Today he got highly pissed because he found out his ex cheated on him and never told him he talked to me about it but I feel kind of awkward cause it seemed like it hurt him finding out. He said they broke up in December. And he's made like two status's on Facebook about it.. am I the rebound girl? Should I end things before I get hurt?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): I dated a man that was deeply in love with his ex-girlfriend. He wanted to marry her. She refused to wear the engagement ring but they went out for eight months and then she dumped him. I started dating him two months later. It was too soon.Immediately, he showed me pictures of what they did together. He called me her name when we had sex the first time together. Then he continued to call me her name. It was like I didn't exist. When he looked at me or if we were spending time together he was seeing her, not "me."I remember when we went to his folks cabin for the first time. He looked sad and forlorn and had a pained look on his face. I asked what was wrong which of course he replied back, "nothing." When I viewed more pictures of them I found out they spent most summer weekends at the cabin and took long walks together.Then I found a folder with cards from her in there and he had written on the front of the folder that those eight months were the happiest time of his life.I feel he was using me to sooth his wounds to get over her. It appeared to me that he wanted to make sure that he still had it and that was why he dated so soon after their breakup. Some guys will do that after being rejected. Clearly, I was a rebound.If he raves about her like she is the best woman on the planet and no other woman will ever measure up to her or if he still hurting from the breakup and looking back at his past with her, then I would move on before you get hurt and are considered just a stand in girlfriend while he licks his wounds.You need a man that will be there 100% for you in the present and not reflecting back or comparing you to his ex-girlfriend.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 March 2013):
 I think someone could be over someone else, yet still become furious knowing that the person who claimed to love you so deeply cheated on you.
It's his ego screaming for attention, so I say give him a little bit of leeway.
HOWEVER, I think you should have a gentle, yet firm talk about just what you said here. Tell him that while you can understand his anger, you're worried that the intensity of his reaction and emotions makes you worry that you are a rebound and that he isn't over her.
His breakup was three months ago, which is fine for some people to get over a relationship, and for others, they need longer.
Talking this one and letting him know how you feel to see him reacting strongly about an ex will do you both of you a lot of good.
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